The race

SU nominations are now all in. Here's the D/L:

First, who's only got to beat RON to win? Emmanuel's not got the hell-ish race he expected; a 23 grand job in the bag. The Rolling Judge has E&E. Merry Merrow successfully chased the rainbow. Predictably FemSoc Boobie's going to be looking out for the ladies, whilst Oz Fik-wet will be taking over from BeerCan for Returning Officer.

Aled must literally be creaming his pants - that were incidentally made from organic cotton, fertilised with bullshit - as there are now 5 candidates to split the anti-Aled vote. D.O.B has rallied enough support from 'normal' students to be a clear second runner. Andy Hallibut hopes that his 16th century golden locks will win him the nomination, although he is quite clearly dillusional about his prospects. Pine-fresh Hinesh was a late surprise. As was Quinny-boy's entrance, joining his countryman Steven 'WTF?' Wall. This hackite looks forward a Guiness downing-through-a-straw competition at Thursday's meet.

Ben Philips Philips Ben Ben 'did I mention that my name's Ben Philips? Philips is running against Ay-Ay Sen for International. Zoe 'Cookie' Cooke is up for a battle with a Mo-Fo to look after all of the wonderfully diverse LSE Societies (poor things). And a very English chap from Surry is hoping that people will think he's better suited to stop all that racism at the LSE than cute little Mariam Jam-sandwich-spread. Emma, Helen, Ruby & Natasha shall all be pulling each others hair to take over from Luscious Lou-Lou. Maybe they should consider forming a girl band instead to swoon the male hacks among us. Then again, we do mostly seem to be an a-sexual breed - and the Hack Attack is not sure that the four of them suggestively bobbing about to a Spice Girls backing track will kick start a hack's sex drive.

Lastly (as, to be honest C&S, F&S and NUS ain't worth the time right now) we have the Comms and Treasury races. Dan 'odd-bod' Sheldon has stopped working out in aid of winning votes as he too is jumping with glee at the news of his competition. Up against him is a candidate promising to leave a 'legacy of fit', a man who is possibly the least competent and utterly ridiculous candidate ever...O, and Abz is running too. It's a three-way cage-match between Willy-bush Trim (a known drunk), 'What-a-mug' Oliver and Shayaan Cash-car. Should be an interesting one that.