Don't worry chaps: the clourblind are more likely to vote anyway

In the undisputed balls-up of the campaign so far, Steve 'the-girls-think-I'm-the-hottest-candidate, which-says-very-little-indeed' Wall and The Shouty Welsh Fish-thing have both chosen Green as their campaign colour. A stand-off yesterday had them both seeing red.

Interestingly, both have strong and legitimate claims to the colour.

Steve is Irish, a place where everything is green: Clovers, the Lucky Charm man and leprechauns, as is also the shade of many a weathered man from Cork after they leave the pub after a 3-day 'social'.

Aled would probably copulate with the colour given half-a-sniff. His relationships with the Green Party and the environment have reportedly become raunchy. And he absolutely loathes carbon, which, incidentally, manifests itself in bright yellow.