The final curtain

Sadly, there comes a time in every scribe's career when it feels right to put away the quill and move on to pastures new. Sometimes this decision is voluntary, sometimes it is forced. For this Gossip Queen, the time is now (or more precisely, the close of nominations at 5PM today), and the exile has been imposed by that most evil of School prefects, Jimmy BeerCan.

I hope you have all enjoyed the sexy gossip as much as I have, and I hope that I have been equally unfair to everyone. The reason Hack Attack exists is to deflate pomposity and, first and foremost, to amuse. Y'know, the stuff the Beaver used to do? This hack hopes it has succeeded.

To those who have taken offense at what was written about them, to those who requested this blog be shut down or altered, or use it for political campaigning, I say: chillax. Take a ride on the relaxi taxi. We're a Students' Union: enjoy the politiking, enjoy the grand gestures... but please don't take any of it seriously! In the words of the holy [shurely shome mishtake? - Ed.] Henry Kissinger :

"University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small"

However, Hack Attack will live on: not only in the hearts of the great and good of the Union, but also in actuality. I leave you in the capable hand(s) of Feather Hustler for the rest of the election period.

Respect yourselves, and each other. And in the words of the great poet Abz Hussein, "now go s**k c**k".