Alcohol

You know what's freakin' great. It's in the title.

The Hack Attack has just received official government info that alcohol actually improves your television broadcasting capabilities by around 143% - that's 12% more than Ketamin.

The empirical evidence is strong: Erica Gornal-Beast has put in her greatest performance yet as a Loose/Pulse TV anchor. Her and Co-Host Mark Sexual-Harrisment have both been slowly, slowly pouring Sambooooka down their jugulars on air for the last 2 hours, and the quality of broadcasting has made CBeebies look like a Scunthorpe panto.

There have been a number of pissed-out-of-their-skull guests this evening e.g. Steve 'WTF?!' Wall, but there have been an equal number of possible contributors who have been refused air-time e.g. 'I think I'm so fucking great' Berry & Vik-shaz.

Let the booze flow,
and da flava go.

Stat.