The Abz way

This Hackabee literally thought it couldn't get any worse for ex-boy band frontman Abz.

After an illustrious carrer in '5ive' he decided to go all political and become untrusted by his fellow countrypeople as thier temporary leader for BangSoc. But, oh no, that wasn't enough. So he's now deviously attempting/ed some sort of coup, re-writing the sacred constitution to read something along the lines of:

'People of BangSoc. These are the words of your saviour. I be he, and he be I, and I is Abz, init. I shall do as I, as he, as we being I, shall please, because I am him. Never again shall a mere mortal have the audacity to question my omni-impotence.'

Seriously.

For fear of losing his almost certain Comms victory (in his own sick, twisted mind), the Village Idiot has successfully pressured wobbly, wacky Ziyaad Lunatic into stepping down from the race. The desired affect was two-fold: to have all the Lunatic's votes re-allocated to himself and to make 'Odd-bod' Sheldon shit himself, with only the manky East Building showers to clean himself up in. But, alas, voters often respond badly to pushing and shoving, except when it's Prescot rightly chucking a left hook at an egg-trowing bastard.

Finally, you've got to be better than our dearly departed Gossip Queen (R.I.P) at stirring mischief. The ex-5ive frontman told Brown Town that his A-R competitor, Jam-sandwich Spread, admitted that the lad would be better suited for the job than her. O...and any other SU elected post for that matter.

It's incredibly scary moments like this that one has to find solice in good ol' Winston's remark:

'Democracy is the worst form of government...except for all the other kinds.'