Credit to Imperial's Live! website.
Wednesday 26 March 2008
Who's the sexiest candidate?
With a distinct lack of LSESU Hack News, oogling over the pond may provide Hack Attack viewers with the kind of high-brow, in-depth political hokey-pokery they may have been missing.
Whether you want Billery or Obamatron to win, the question you should really be asking yourself is:
Who is the sexiest?
Fortunately, some nutters on YouTube have already helped us out by pitching their favourite to us in music video form. The Obama one was even one of the nominees for the recent YouTube Awards in the Political category. Enjoy...
Whether you want Billery or Obamatron to win, the question you should really be asking yourself is:
Who is the sexiest?
Fortunately, some nutters on YouTube have already helped us out by pitching their favourite to us in music video form. The Obama one was even one of the nominees for the recent YouTube Awards in the Political category. Enjoy...
Thursday 20 March 2008
Boris
Do we really want a man who confuses rugby and football to be the next Mayor of London?
I guess rugby's all they play at Eton.
Pillock.
I guess rugby's all they play at Eton.
Pillock.
Monday 17 March 2008
Another dick in the Wall
Despite being denied the General Secretaryship, everyone's favourite Irishman Steve 'Show us your tits' Wall has been named as the Chair of UCL Council (and also - seemingly - has been knighted).
Well done, Steve!
Well done, Steve!
Friday 14 March 2008
Bareback Mountain
It's the end of term, and James BeerCan has decided to let his hair down.
However, only one of the following pictures is fabricated. Can you guess which one?
5 Across (8 letters): Dabbling with something new.
However, only one of the following pictures is fabricated. Can you guess which one?
5 Across (8 letters): Dabbling with something new.
Shout outs
Big hello to Andy 'Colin' Farrell, the Press Office and everyone else in the LSE bureaucracy who reads Hack Attack.
Love you lots!
xxx
Love you lots!
xxx
Thursday 13 March 2008
Wet Beaver
Shock result for the Beaver editorship: Joseph "Useful Idiot" Cottager won the day over Aled's Green buddy Mike 'Charley Says' STDeas. Meeting was packed with Beaver hacks and Deas-friendly lefties and went on for what seemed like an eternity. Maybe a taste of Sunday nights to come for those lucky few who made it onto the Ed Board.
Rumour has it that Camp Dilwyn is disappointed with the result. De-ass is unlikely to disappear next year: seems like a special position near the top of the Beaver tree will be created especially for him. Awww... those Beaver people are really nice!
What does this outcome bode for Beaver-Sabb relations? We shall see.
Rumour has it that Camp Dilwyn is disappointed with the result. De-ass is unlikely to disappear next year: seems like a special position near the top of the Beaver tree will be created especially for him. Awww... those Beaver people are really nice!
What does this outcome bode for Beaver-Sabb relations? We shall see.
Hare's Pished-off
Westminster Council may well close down our little Hare-man's soup kitchin - which aids the many students who have drunk their loan by week 3 - because another 'food retailer' has protested that the sweet, little veggies are eating their profits.
Hare Krishna is asking for help from all us students to try and continue their do-gooding. If you're interested, go get the phone number with your free curry tomorrow.
They can take him to courta dn they can whine, they could even burn down his cute orange trailer as a Mafia-style warning, but the only way this dispute is going to get settled is with a good old fashioned food fight.
Sadly, Darling Maria will finish off this hypothetical brawl when she rams a BLT & sausage ciabatta down our friend's gullet.
And this Hack-Hare used to like her. Bitch.
Wednesday 12 March 2008
The high price of democracy
Candidate's budget: £50
Sabb paper allowance: £30
VoteSU08.com domain name: £5
Compensation to the LSE for damage to the count rooms: £13,000
Drawing of James Sausage's inadequate penis on the white boards: priceless.
STOP PRESS
Unconfirmed rumours suggest that next year's count night will be held in King's College's English Department.
Sabb paper allowance: £30
VoteSU08.com domain name: £5
Compensation to the LSE for damage to the count rooms: £13,000
Drawing of James Sausage's inadequate penis on the white boards: priceless.
STOP PRESS
Unconfirmed rumours suggest that next year's count night will be held in King's College's English Department.
Over-eager
According to Facebook, the newest member of F&S, Sanjiv "Full colour posters" Nanwani, has amassed a huge number friends in his short time on Houghton St. Here is a quick comparison:
Sanjiv Nanwani: 373 friends at LSE in 5 months.
Jimmy Tam: 1,031 friends at LSE in 4 years.
Hack Attack projections indicate that networking crazy Sanj will have 3,580.8 LSE 'friends' when he finishes his year as Treasurer in '10/'11. This sets a new level in hackular ambition. Oh joy.
Sanjiv Nanwani: 373 friends at LSE in 5 months.
Jimmy Tam: 1,031 friends at LSE in 4 years.
Hack Attack projections indicate that networking crazy Sanj will have 3,580.8 LSE 'friends' when he finishes his year as Treasurer in '10/'11. This sets a new level in hackular ambition. Oh joy.
In other news...
If you thought our Union was fucked, spare a thought for these poor bastards.
At UCL, their GenSec has just been suspended following a controversial AGM in which the now infamous 'Demilitarised zone of Gower St' motion passed [i.e. stop cadet forces from recruiting on campus]. Seems the meeting was dodgier than Fadhil and Jonathon Aitken setting up a timeshare company.
Now the right wingers are rejoycing and attempting to overturn the decision - UCL itself has launched an inquiry. Lefties around London are expressing their 'solidarity' with their beleaguered comrade. Jokes.
Essex University Union (yes, it is a proper university) has had its fair share of troubles, too. The incumbent Labour careerist President Doughty was re-elected in the face of opposition from the Trot-coalition 'Viva Essex' (LOL). Turns out the RESPECT lot did quite well: taking every Sabb post apart from President. That was until someone smelt a rat. Someone voted 180 times on the online voting thingy, and the Union called in the Feds (aka NUS's election observers).
Following a re-count, and without the benefit of the hanging chads, Stinkin' Rich Doughty is leaving Essex to wallow in its own pointless leftist grandstanding. His only legacy is this gruesome corporate video:
Finally, whilst we have elected a welsh Dildo, York Union has elected a Pirate as their President. Seriously. He has pledged to dress and talk as a pirate for the whole year. Hack Attack strongly endorses this candidate, and is currently drafting a motion to mandate all of next year's Sabbs follow suit. Yaaaaar!
At UCL, their GenSec has just been suspended following a controversial AGM in which the now infamous 'Demilitarised zone of Gower St' motion passed [i.e. stop cadet forces from recruiting on campus]. Seems the meeting was dodgier than Fadhil and Jonathon Aitken setting up a timeshare company.
Now the right wingers are rejoycing and attempting to overturn the decision - UCL itself has launched an inquiry. Lefties around London are expressing their 'solidarity' with their beleaguered comrade. Jokes.
Essex University Union (yes, it is a proper university) has had its fair share of troubles, too. The incumbent Labour careerist President Doughty was re-elected in the face of opposition from the Trot-coalition 'Viva Essex' (LOL). Turns out the RESPECT lot did quite well: taking every Sabb post apart from President. That was until someone smelt a rat. Someone voted 180 times on the online voting thingy, and the Union called in the Feds (aka NUS's election observers).
Following a re-count, and without the benefit of the hanging chads, Stinkin' Rich Doughty is leaving Essex to wallow in its own pointless leftist grandstanding. His only legacy is this gruesome corporate video:
Finally, whilst we have elected a welsh Dildo, York Union has elected a Pirate as their President. Seriously. He has pledged to dress and talk as a pirate for the whole year. Hack Attack strongly endorses this candidate, and is currently drafting a motion to mandate all of next year's Sabbs follow suit. Yaaaaar!
Unattrributed quote
Which member of the new exec exclaimed "My fingers smell like I've been fingering" following a seafood dish at the first executive committee dinner?
Wasn't the only case of 'Too Much Information' that night.
Wasn't the only case of 'Too Much Information' that night.
Spotted!
Steve "Lend us a fiver" Wall causing havoc at the Law Ball. The Unchosen One was getting physical, ripping buttons off the shirts of the Dolanator and starting fights with laid back jazz enthusiasts.
Tings have got to change!
Tings have got to change!
Tuesday 11 March 2008
Soulja Boy's Shame
Muslims might not drink, but BeerCan does, at least he would, if he wasn't a child.
At Dildo Fishbate's masterbation fest BeerCan was ID'd by the comedy waiters not once but twice.
On discovering his babybum face was actually owned by a 20 year old, they apologised, "it's just, you look like a teenager."
His inability to obtain alcohol makes the following video even more mysterious. Enjoy.
At Dildo Fishbate's masterbation fest BeerCan was ID'd by the comedy waiters not once but twice.
On discovering his babybum face was actually owned by a 20 year old, they apologised, "it's just, you look like a teenager."
His inability to obtain alcohol makes the following video even more mysterious. Enjoy.
See you at the soshieties' awards!
Or maybe you won't, because Captain Morgan couldn't be fucked to tell anyone.
This Fat Hack is looking forward to devouring the £300 worth of grub up for grabs. The pricy bill is apparently justified because 'Muslims don't drink'.
What!? Maybe they get high on prawns covered in breadcrumbs instead?
A fishy affair
Bogus BeerCan feels muscular and defiant.
He holds his head up high - smug and proud that his authoritah is allowing his decision to go against the following people:
- All the current sabbs
- All the current exec
- All the sabb-elects
- All the new exec
- All human beings that have brains - fully or partially functioning
Essentially, the dealio is that Whiny-Moany Roberts and 'Em..-fuck-the-rules' Fishy are going to battle it out in the gladiator arena that is the Old Theatre for their crown as Residences Officer in a rare Summer Term UGM.
This Hack-a-Caesar knows that he's got his way not because he threw a strop, cried for a day, and humiliatingly wet himself, but because he has been secretly having steamy antics with the Constitution. Their erotic relationship has warped BeerCan's mind, as love tends to do. Simultaneously, Ketters, after hearing the news of the Constitution and BeerCan, has gone to Oxford to try and cop off with theirs.He's got a good chance; it's a bit of a slag.
Friday 7 March 2008
Sabbs-elect weigh in on Fischer-Roberts War
The self-proclaimed Dream Team just couldn't wait to get started, so have emailed the whole exec suggesting that a cross-campus ballot re-run be held on the contested Residences race. Talk about an abuse (of lack of) power!
To say Jimmy "GenSec of the Year Never" BeerCan and Andrew AlsoRan Halibut are displeased is an understatement. They are determined to maintain their iron grip on the constitutional affairs of the Union. Looks like they are being overruled by the exec who are, erm, actually trustees of the fucking SU.
Boo hoo.
To say Jimmy "GenSec of the Year Never" BeerCan and Andrew AlsoRan Halibut are displeased is an understatement. They are determined to maintain their iron grip on the constitutional affairs of the Union. Looks like they are being overruled by the exec who are, erm, actually trustees of the fucking SU.
Boo hoo.
Heard on Pulse Radio today...
"Electing Joseph Brown as Anti-Racism Officer is like letting Gary Glitter run a nursery."
The lighter side of Ziyaad Looney
Whilst we are on a YouTube binge, we may as well watch this LSE classic from last year.
Hack Attack reproduces the following video without comment.
Hack Attack reproduces the following video without comment.
Fadhil is a slimey GenSec
Fact.
Looks a bit too much like an al-Zarqawi style beheading video for this Hack's liking. Shame Ben Phillips didn't get gunked, too.
Video courtesy of the LSE Observer.
Looks a bit too much like an al-Zarqawi style beheading video for this Hack's liking. Shame Ben Phillips didn't get gunked, too.
Video courtesy of the LSE Observer.
Juxaposition of the century
Last night, the great and good of our Union filed into the Quad for an evening of mutual masturation over how good and progressive we all are. Sam 'London Citizens is my life' Causton shook off that last remain bit of Public School guilt by preaching the gospel of Living Wage one last time. We even had a few cleaners speak to us about how thankful they were to all the committed activists who changed their lives. It made this Hack feel warm and fuzzy inside.
All was going well until someone asked "Can you tell us what difference the Living Wage has made to your life?" (answer: not much, really).
Even better was the question: "What can we, as students, do to make your lives, as cleaners, easier?". The poor lady recalled a particularly messy collection of rooms she and her colleagues struggled to tackle last week. Apparently some students had left the 3rd floor of the Old Building in quite a state, with broken windows, litter and naughty graffiti everywhere. Sound familiar? Cue ashened faces from the guilty Hacks in the audience.
Elsewhere in the East Building, the Celtic Clique were having a Whiskey 'tasting' session, interspersed with a poor 2nd year trying to conduct a quiz/information session over the loud 'banter' of the audience.
The meeting was like an inverse image of the Social Justus wank-session below. Political incorrectness galore: Steve "Quasi-Human" Wall was giving it large, Doug "Gordon Brown" Oliver was doling out the booze and Crazy Welshname + the remnants of Team Daisy were soaking it up.
"Dream Team! DREAM TEAM! What an UNFORTUNATE term!" was Steve WTF Wall's opening gambit when Billy Barbershop walked in with his leftie possie. He was already busy berating Odd Bod for being a vacuous shit, telling him to get his ridiculous hair cut. Wil duly volunteered to do the honours.
The night ended, as it always does, with a Tuns throw out. Wall could be heard repeating his mantra of "300 votes... not bad for an anti-disabled Irish postgrad bigot!".
Indeed, Steve. Buy the man a whiskey. But I'll tell you who the Tuns isn't serving... Steve Wall.
All was going well until someone asked "Can you tell us what difference the Living Wage has made to your life?" (answer: not much, really).
Even better was the question: "What can we, as students, do to make your lives, as cleaners, easier?". The poor lady recalled a particularly messy collection of rooms she and her colleagues struggled to tackle last week. Apparently some students had left the 3rd floor of the Old Building in quite a state, with broken windows, litter and naughty graffiti everywhere. Sound familiar? Cue ashened faces from the guilty Hacks in the audience.
Elsewhere in the East Building, the Celtic Clique were having a Whiskey 'tasting' session, interspersed with a poor 2nd year trying to conduct a quiz/information session over the loud 'banter' of the audience.
The meeting was like an inverse image of the Social Justus wank-session below. Political incorrectness galore: Steve "Quasi-Human" Wall was giving it large, Doug "Gordon Brown" Oliver was doling out the booze and Crazy Welshname + the remnants of Team Daisy were soaking it up.
"Dream Team! DREAM TEAM! What an UNFORTUNATE term!" was Steve WTF Wall's opening gambit when Billy Barbershop walked in with his leftie possie. He was already busy berating Odd Bod for being a vacuous shit, telling him to get his ridiculous hair cut. Wil duly volunteered to do the honours.
The night ended, as it always does, with a Tuns throw out. Wall could be heard repeating his mantra of "300 votes... not bad for an anti-disabled Irish postgrad bigot!".
Indeed, Steve. Buy the man a whiskey. But I'll tell you who the Tuns isn't serving... Steve Wall.
Accountability of Accounting Society
The Chinese Mafia were yesterday demolished by the Karachi Public School Set in one of the dodgiest society AGMs ever witnessed in the SU (Ruskies and FinSoc aside).
The current committee (aka PRC) were overwhelmed by the incoming Pakistani army (aka PPP), who sent this to their followers:
Hello Everyone. In order to vote, you guys have to be member of accounting society. in order to do that, just send an email to Su.Soc.Accounting@lse.ac.uk
Its completely Free
We need your support.
Thank you
The sheer force of this nuanced and tactical manoeuvre was simply too much for the PRC. They lost most positions, despite deciding that current committee members were entitled to two votes each. That might be how Chinese democracy works, but things are different here, chaps!
Not that it made much of a difference to the PPP. They were too busy fighting amongst themselves to care about the legitimacy of the vote, or the number of non-society members who were voting.
This birdy hears that complaints are being filed.
The current committee (aka PRC) were overwhelmed by the incoming Pakistani army (aka PPP), who sent this to their followers:
Hello Everyone. In order to vote, you guys have to be member of accounting society. in order to do that, just send an email to Su.Soc.Accounting@lse.ac.uk
Its completely Free
We need your support.
Thank you
The sheer force of this nuanced and tactical manoeuvre was simply too much for the PRC. They lost most positions, despite deciding that current committee members were entitled to two votes each. That might be how Chinese democracy works, but things are different here, chaps!
Not that it made much of a difference to the PPP. They were too busy fighting amongst themselves to care about the legitimacy of the vote, or the number of non-society members who were voting.
This birdy hears that complaints are being filed.
Poor Shayaan
At this time of year, please spare a thought for the less fortunate amongst us. After missing out on that Treasurer position, poor Shayaan has now been reduced to wearing a ridiculous mouse outfit during Mayoral debates. My heart bleeds... actually, no it doesn't! He's leaving us to become a corporate lawyer.
No show from Dick Whittington
Or Brian "hot boyfriend" Paddick. But we had our sham of a Mayoral debate anyway.
Sian "doing it for the fit" Berry took time out of her busy schedule of not driving 4x4s to brown nose our own Green Saviour, Dildo Fascist-Fisher. Vomit inducing.
In the Trot corner, Lindsey Germinates looked about as outdated as her policies. RESPECT my arse.
Highlight, though, was Ed Laizhy's fightback to his perceived "establishment stitch-up", putting down ridiculous outbursts from Konstitutional Ketts [who has now become a parody of himself] and protesting about Aled "the Green Party stooge". Very incisive considering he ventured into our Union for a matter of minutes!
The only person who came out of it with any respectability was LSE's own Tony Travers. Question: "who here likes bendy buses?".
Audience: "WE DO... FREE BUS!".
Sian "doing it for the fit" Berry took time out of her busy schedule of not driving 4x4s to brown nose our own Green Saviour, Dildo Fascist-Fisher. Vomit inducing.
In the Trot corner, Lindsey Germinates looked about as outdated as her policies. RESPECT my arse.
Highlight, though, was Ed Laizhy's fightback to his perceived "establishment stitch-up", putting down ridiculous outbursts from Konstitutional Ketts [who has now become a parody of himself] and protesting about Aled "the Green Party stooge". Very incisive considering he ventured into our Union for a matter of minutes!
The only person who came out of it with any respectability was LSE's own Tony Travers. Question: "who here likes bendy buses?".
Audience: "WE DO... FREE BUS!".
State of The Union
Special two hour edition of State of The Union is broadcasting on Pulse Radio until 12 midday.
Host Andy 'Spectre' Hallett is gossiping with Alex Tittybum and Dan Sheldonstein, and possibly the Dolanator and Wetz Himself later.
www.pulse.dj or http://158.143.63.2:8011/hq1
Host Andy 'Spectre' Hallett is gossiping with Alex Tittybum and Dan Sheldonstein, and possibly the Dolanator and Wetz Himself later.
www.pulse.dj or http://158.143.63.2:8011/hq1
Wednesday 5 March 2008
Sausage Watch
So far, on Sausage Watch:
- James wins Returning Officer unopposed. He uses this mandate to cast his judgement on everything the SU does... did he miss the part of his job description that mentions elections?!
- Despite not being on the Exec, Bluetooth Sausage insists on coming to every meeting to give his tuppence worth. Oh dear.
- James Sausage wins the prized position of Pulse Admin (unopposed)... is there no stopping this belligerent bureaucrat?!
- Sausage heightens his fame by imposing his iron fist and silky tongue on the masses during election night.
- Sausage runs for C&S, willy waving his superior constitutional knowledge and further enhancing his jobsworthy civil servant image.
- After a year of combining the serious SU stuff with 'the lighter side of James Sausage' Pulse play, Jimmy Eat Girl declares: but which Sabb post is he going for?
- Failing to win GenSec, James realises that you need to be either:
- a) popular
- b) a born leader
- c) charismatic
MEGA HOT Soshiety Goss!!!
Well, not really that exciting - certainly not as exciting as the invention of some sort of industrial strength white-head destroying cream.
Captain Morgan is furiously trying to sift through all of the rot and find sochieties worthy of a gold star, pat on the back and slap on the ass.
Leaked info suggests that the Knitting Society - essentially a bunch of ladies gassing about girl topics like kittens and Disney, whilst knitting, drinking tea and making lots of crummies - is up for a prize.
MEGA HOT GOSS!!!
Tuesday 4 March 2008
I fucking love meetings
Especially ones that last for two hours. At 8AM. Such was the way for those exec members who wanted to give their 2p on who should receive life membership to the SU. Outcome: to continue the discussion on Thursday!
Also today was the C&S decision on the Emtirely Fishy v Helen 'Christine Hamilton' Roberts battle. Or rather, indecision. Whilst they have annulled the vote, there is yet to be a decision on what should happen next: re-open nominations, re-campaign or re-vote.
Just what we need: even more meetings!
Also today was the C&S decision on the Emtirely Fishy v Helen 'Christine Hamilton' Roberts battle. Or rather, indecision. Whilst they have annulled the vote, there is yet to be a decision on what should happen next: re-open nominations, re-campaign or re-vote.
Just what we need: even more meetings!
Aftermath of count night
Here's some choice exerpts from the cleaner's report. We are bad, bad people.
- Sexually explicit graffiti on the white board.
- Window open with muddy footprints left on windowsill.
- Footprints noticed all over the dome above student service
- Connecting door to A318 vision panel broken.
- Toilet Mirror broken.
- Student found sleeping in a toilet cubicle.
Wil Barber Resignation Clock
It is now 107 hours, 50 minutes since The Monobrowed One won his place on the top table of the SU. Question is, when will he be resigning?
Rest assured Hack Attack wil be monitoring this situation carefully.
No, Daisy, no!
Rest assured Hack Attack wil be monitoring this situation carefully.
No, Daisy, no!
Icky crumbs
ISoc's 'Build-a-well' campaign is going really well. They're raising loads of cash by selling cakes and other fancies.
Problem is, that a comment by one of Buildiers (who reportedly looks just like Bob) revealed that the sweet, little cakes are actually out-of-date!!!!
Shock! Horror!
Look out for an epidemic of the well known eye-eating cake worm nibbling on a gut near you.
Problem is, that a comment by one of Buildiers (who reportedly looks just like Bob) revealed that the sweet, little cakes are actually out-of-date!!!!
Shock! Horror!
Look out for an epidemic of the well known eye-eating cake worm nibbling on a gut near you.
Monday 3 March 2008
ULU VP jumps sinking ship
Now we know how much LSE students love ULU (bare jokes!), but given that we stuff their pockets with so many thousands each year, you may be interested in this weekend's drama.
Ashley McQuitter has pre-empted UL's reduction of the number of Sabbs by resigning immediately, citing irreconcilable differences with the 'leftie nutjob' Prez Jenny. He follows a long line of ULU Sabbs to quit the job. Perhaps it is because of shit they get from the University, the dire financial state of the Union, or maybe the high concentration of extremely poor quality student politicians who dare venture to Malet Street?
Here is the leaked email in all its gruesome glory.
After taking a period of time to consider my position at ULU, I have decided that with immediate effect I have no other choice than to resign from the office of Vice-President of the University of London Union.
The reason for my resignation is due to the complete break down of communication and the subsequent conflict between myself and the ULU President, Jennifer Huseman. I have had very little productive contact with the President since the ULU Senate in January at which I tried to air my concerns regarding her performance, commitment and attendance at ULU. Sadly, this had no affect on the situation with the President; it only served to increase the President's hatred and aggression towards me.
I feel forced into this position by the hostile attitude and behaviour directed towards myself from the President and can no longer continue to work at ULU under such circumstances. The stress and pressure which this has put upon my health, life and general well-being is unacceptable and I cannot continue in this way for the next 5 months.
It is with a sad and heavy heart that I am forced to take this decision; there was so much more that I was looking forward to accomplish in my time remaining at ULU. I would like to thank my fellow Vice-President's Joe Martin and Deigo Carmona for their continued support during this hard time and wish them the best of luck for the remaining time at ULU.
Ashley McAlister
1st March 2008
Ashley McQuitter has pre-empted UL's reduction of the number of Sabbs by resigning immediately, citing irreconcilable differences with the 'leftie nutjob' Prez Jenny. He follows a long line of ULU Sabbs to quit the job. Perhaps it is because of shit they get from the University, the dire financial state of the Union, or maybe the high concentration of extremely poor quality student politicians who dare venture to Malet Street?
Here is the leaked email in all its gruesome glory.
After taking a period of time to consider my position at ULU, I have decided that with immediate effect I have no other choice than to resign from the office of Vice-President of the University of London Union.
The reason for my resignation is due to the complete break down of communication and the subsequent conflict between myself and the ULU President, Jennifer Huseman. I have had very little productive contact with the President since the ULU Senate in January at which I tried to air my concerns regarding her performance, commitment and attendance at ULU. Sadly, this had no affect on the situation with the President; it only served to increase the President's hatred and aggression towards me.
I feel forced into this position by the hostile attitude and behaviour directed towards myself from the President and can no longer continue to work at ULU under such circumstances. The stress and pressure which this has put upon my health, life and general well-being is unacceptable and I cannot continue in this way for the next 5 months.
It is with a sad and heavy heart that I am forced to take this decision; there was so much more that I was looking forward to accomplish in my time remaining at ULU. I would like to thank my fellow Vice-President's Joe Martin and Deigo Carmona for their continued support during this hard time and wish them the best of luck for the remaining time at ULU.
Ashley McAlister
1st March 2008
Moan elections?
Helen 'whining-is-my-past-time' Roberts has whacked in an official complaint to the overlords of the Union (C&S) over the teeny-tight victory of Less-Em-Pressive,-more-Fishy.
Her grounds to whine more than usual are fair: The Empress sent out mass grey area mails , abused her huge power as a Facebook group admin. to get her members to vote and was taken off the street for a while for doing something rather dodgy.
With 3 votes in it, we may see a repeat of the Krebbers vs. Ye Pointy One (you couldn't make Treasurer this year) palaver, where the close 1st vote sent the voters to a new ballot.
Or the ballot may yet stand. We wait to see how Baron Andrew Hallibut XIV deals with this.
Her grounds to whine more than usual are fair: The Empress sent out mass grey area mails , abused her huge power as a Facebook group admin. to get her members to vote and was taken off the street for a while for doing something rather dodgy.
With 3 votes in it, we may see a repeat of the Krebbers vs. Ye Pointy One (you couldn't make Treasurer this year) palaver, where the close 1st vote sent the voters to a new ballot.
Or the ballot may yet stand. We wait to see how Baron Andrew Hallibut XIV deals with this.
Printing & screaming
Frustrations at the LEDC IT services standards at this uni are getting a bit much. Most of the election candidates picked up on it, but why don't the current Sabbs use the calls as a time to salvage their legacies? Afterall, one of them is dubbed Super-Ru.
The printer on the 1st floor of the library has been broken since 13th Feb. They could have bought and installed a new, working printer in that time...
Go on, fly! (Though don't tell Fish-fiddler's lame joke whilst you're at it)
Sunday 2 March 2008
The power of patronage
Incase you hadn't noticed already, LSESU is a strange place. As is traditional, the post-election period is filled with backslapping, commiserating and award giving. But in our bizarro-world Union, we have no such thing as a Laurels Committee to decide, fairly, who should be given honorary life membership of our Union. No, no, no, no! It is our all powerful executive committee who decides who is worthy of such an accolade, such is the feudal nature our SU.
This ultimately means that most our peerages get given to members of the committee themselves. What a coincidence! The big question is which exec members will be deemed unworthy of such honour? And which failed Sabb candidates will get a certificate? Will Steve 'Joey Deacon' Wall walk away with anything more than a bruised ego?
You they decide!
This ultimately means that most our peerages get given to members of the committee themselves. What a coincidence! The big question is which exec members will be deemed unworthy of such honour? And which failed Sabb candidates will get a certificate? Will Steve 'Joey Deacon' Wall walk away with anything more than a bruised ego?
Love is in the air...
Election time provides us with ample quantities of the three major food groups of life: banter, lash and minge. Hacks are sex deprived creatures, but I suspect the ballots have something of an aphrodisiacal effect on them. Election night is notorious for its hookups, and this one was no exception...
- Which Essex boy cast his ballot in the mouth of a rising AU star? Will she be Returning for some more?
- This Hack thought all feminists were lezzers. Clearly not, as one nubile exec-member-to-be was rather taken with a lanky Media Groupee with bladder problems. Will she hustle his feathers?
- Which member of Team Odd Bod was the object of a Sabb-elect's affections? One wonders if he will have any condoms left to give to students by October...
- Which drunken couple slipped into a neighbouring room to do some dirty deeds during the evening?
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