Hallett a blond mallet

Randy Mullet, the sniggering hound of the Cock Committee, is being rumoured to overtake the Islamic crusade of Fadhil with a laissez-faire approach to extremism. Dressed like an ropey Indian waiter, who botched his hairdye and received an intensive course of skin bleaching, Andy intends to abolish bureaucracy in the SU by banning:

a) Religious societies
b) Religion on campus
c) All committees which have more than 1 member
d) Political beliefs other than his own
e) Halal
f) The constitution, replacing it with the Little Blonde Book.

Despite all this, and rather bizarrely, Andy seems to have been given a ringing endorsement* from his competitor for the Big Job, Aled Dildo Fatah-Fascist-Fadhil-Fisher:

Aled Dilwyn Fisher wrote
at 10:15pm on February 21st, 2006

Andy - you're going to be the first Marxist Gen Sec who also believes in economic liberalism, and you're going to lead us on a crusade against Israel and Big Tobacco! I salute you and you have my vote! :)

*OK, so it may be a couple years old...