Wednesday 21 February 2007
Hack Attack is taking a little break...
Hack Attack doesn't want to get into trouble, so is suspending the site during elections. The next week promises to be very exciting and I'm sure there will be lots of hacky gossip to report after elections. Stay tuned and we'll promise to keep it more up-to-date!
Sunday 11 February 2007
Non-Sabbs as promised.
Residences
Gobinson - Fake Green re-running. Fingers crossed she will support the living wage in her campaign this time!
ASBO Phillips - Carr-Saunders-ite egotist. Won't have a clue what to do if he actually wins Residences.
Societies
Randy Mullet - having bored of writing anti-Semitic diatribes and looking at bestiality videos, Andy had decided to eschew his political campaigning for some Societies bureaucracy. Hmm...
Clem Nolonger-Young - currently courting the lefties by turning up to every meeting/demo after a year in which he has done close to fuck all (apart from lose his MT election). AU will probably win it for him.
Environment & Ethics
Dilwyn Fishy - Another year of Caspel-lite anti-capitalist bullshit. Shoot me now.
A. N. Tory - some right-winger is bound to stand against him just for the sake of it รก la Alkesh Woods.
Women's
Daisy Male-Slaughter - anarcho-fem plans to make us all into mooncap-loving, support group-attending hippies.
Racist Daisy - Daisy on Daisy action? Or is she really fed up with SU politics?
LGBT
Shamed Garvin - gays, please stop this from happening!
Anti Racism
Abz Hussain - Three things to say about this delightful chap:
1. Shamelessly put forward a worthy motion about low-paid Bangladeshi workers. Wouldn't be so bad if a) it wasn't so obviously connected to his election campaign and b) it didn't have his name plastered all over the bloody motion!
2. Is member of the 'Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is the man' Facebook group.
3. I have nothing more to add but this:
Gobinson - Fake Green re-running. Fingers crossed she will support the living wage in her campaign this time!
ASBO Phillips - Carr-Saunders-ite egotist. Won't have a clue what to do if he actually wins Residences.
Societies
Randy Mullet - having bored of writing anti-Semitic diatribes and looking at bestiality videos, Andy had decided to eschew his political campaigning for some Societies bureaucracy. Hmm...
Clem Nolonger-Young - currently courting the lefties by turning up to every meeting/demo after a year in which he has done close to fuck all (apart from lose his MT election). AU will probably win it for him.
Environment & Ethics
Dilwyn Fishy - Another year of Caspel-lite anti-capitalist bullshit. Shoot me now.
A. N. Tory - some right-winger is bound to stand against him just for the sake of it รก la Alkesh Woods.
Women's
Daisy Male-Slaughter - anarcho-fem plans to make us all into mooncap-loving, support group-attending hippies.
Racist Daisy - Daisy on Daisy action? Or is she really fed up with SU politics?
LGBT
Shamed Garvin - gays, please stop this from happening!
Anti Racism
Abz Hussain - Three things to say about this delightful chap:
1. Shamelessly put forward a worthy motion about low-paid Bangladeshi workers. Wouldn't be so bad if a) it wasn't so obviously connected to his election campaign and b) it didn't have his name plastered all over the bloody motion!
2. Is member of the 'Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is the man' Facebook group.
3. I have nothing more to add but this:
Mature & Part-Time
Ziyaad Lunar Probe - yeah, we have to put up with him for yet another year. Sorry!
International
No fucking idea.
C&S
Elle Dudd
Ketts on Ket (imagine that!) - the only person in the world who doesn't use C&S as a platform. God help him.
F&S
Some first year leftie/I-Socs probably.
Bad news Zoe
Big Man on Campus, Fadhil Barking-Mad-Har, launched his GenSec bid a year early this week after almost two years of steering clear of anything remotely controversial. And what better way to kick off his campaign than at LSE's favourite display of patriarchal, sanitised "diversity" - the Global Show. Highlights included the women who were wore dresses which symbolised their "innocence" and the 'Funky-Ass Romancerotic Hip-Hopera' rapper who thought it would be a good idea to sing about a girl he doesn't know, yet wants to make babies with. Excellent stuff!
Anyway, with every national and religious society behind him Faddy is unbeatable.
Prediction: Zoe withdraws, does a master's at LSE and goes head-to-head with Gobinson for GenSec 08/09.
Anyway, with every national and religious society behind him Faddy is unbeatable.
Prediction: Zoe withdraws, does a master's at LSE and goes head-to-head with Gobinson for GenSec 08/09.
Wednesday 7 February 2007
Jimmy done a boo boo
OK, picture the scene. You are a moderate GenSec under fire from the loonies for speaking out against their anti-Sutherlandness. After narrowly avoiding censure, you are faced with a dilemma - one of the SU's two reps to Council is on holiday... what should you do?
How about organising a kangaroo election and taking the recommendation of the absentee rep by appointing Steady Eddy - the last man in the LSE who doesn't have a single bone to pick with baby eater Sutherland. Sounds good to me! Top it off by not informing the two leftie Court of Governors reps of your decision, despite one of them being present (but 15 mins late) at the 'selection' meeting. Cue scenes of shouting between Tammy and Gobby/Fadhil in front of the Beaver after the lefties saw Steady Eddy swagger past their relieve-me-of-guilt-for-i-am-standing-for-election demo. Oops... massive oops!
What's that smell? Aaah - must be another censure!
N.B. Special mention to Dave Vincenti who - at the height of the slanging match - suggested that it would be better that "SU business was not conducted in front of the Beaver and LooSE". Better behind closed doors, eh?
How about organising a kangaroo election and taking the recommendation of the absentee rep by appointing Steady Eddy - the last man in the LSE who doesn't have a single bone to pick with baby eater Sutherland. Sounds good to me! Top it off by not informing the two leftie Court of Governors reps of your decision, despite one of them being present (but 15 mins late) at the 'selection' meeting. Cue scenes of shouting between Tammy and Gobby/Fadhil in front of the Beaver after the lefties saw Steady Eddy swagger past their relieve-me-of-guilt-for-i-am-standing-for-election demo. Oops... massive oops!
What's that smell? Aaah - must be another censure!
N.B. Special mention to Dave Vincenti who - at the height of the slanging match - suggested that it would be better that "SU business was not conducted in front of the Beaver and LooSE". Better behind closed doors, eh?
Monday 5 February 2007
Unattributed quote
"I was thinking about going for Court of Governors in Lent."
"You do know that gets elected in Michaelmas, don't you?"
"Oh."
"And don't you have to been well known or on the exec to go for that?"
"Well yeah, but I think I'm pretty well known - I sucked off _____ _____!"
"You do know that gets elected in Michaelmas, don't you?"
"Oh."
"And don't you have to been well known or on the exec to go for that?"
"Well yeah, but I think I'm pretty well known - I sucked off _____ _____!"
Sunday 4 February 2007
The joys of ballot papers...
"No Fascist Tories" v "No more hippy Greens. Not ever."
Round one to Elle "my house is bigger than Howie D's" Dodd.
Round one to Elle "my house is bigger than Howie D's" Dodd.
Named and Shaned
Oh dear, oh dear. Despite his best efforts with Tammy Ham, Shane's hackular ambitions seem to be stuck in a rut. Seems he has been a less than reliable member of C&S and RAG Week... doesn't bode well for his upcoming Residences bid.
Runners and riders...
GenSec
Zoe "Dewjed it" Sullivan - despite jetting off to New York for a week, she's in and she's in to win.
Smug Oliver - denies it but something fishy is going on... methinks he doth protest too much.
Chancellor Joel - will there be a "smooth and orderly transition" if Joel takes the top job?
Krispy Krebbers - too busy with his dermatologist to do student politics anymore. Poor guy.
Treasurer
Jefferson "Just call me Dave" Court-Amy - abandoned his Tory roots to become a radical leftist with a penchant for scowsers.
Ozzy Libby - AU til she dies, can she do a Nat Black?
EdWelfare
Comrade Caspell - will fix the elections in a Stalinist coup, barricade himself in the East Building and declare the SU a people's republic.
Overlord Manji - quit her edboard post to prepare her campaign.
Shanela Hack! - winner of the least visible exec member award 2006/07.
Comms
Simon Malfoy Douglas - C&S bureaucrat seeks Sabb position. Competency guaranteed.
Slimeball Sheldon - shit stirrer. Has he pissed off one too many hacks?
Kayt "Changes Monthly" Berry - can she do a Stacie?
"Allo, I'm" Dan Dolan - yet another media groupee.
Ben "Jayson Blair" Biggs - haha.
Wil needs a Barber - let's hope he doesn't do another "I RESIGN!!" speech.
Non-Sabb Exec coming soon... contain yourselves.
Zoe "Dewjed it" Sullivan - despite jetting off to New York for a week, she's in and she's in to win.
Smug Oliver - denies it but something fishy is going on... methinks he doth protest too much.
Chancellor Joel - will there be a "smooth and orderly transition" if Joel takes the top job?
Krispy Krebbers - too busy with his dermatologist to do student politics anymore. Poor guy.
Treasurer
Jefferson "Just call me Dave" Court-Amy - abandoned his Tory roots to become a radical leftist with a penchant for scowsers.
Ozzy Libby - AU til she dies, can she do a Nat Black?
EdWelfare
Comrade Caspell - will fix the elections in a Stalinist coup, barricade himself in the East Building and declare the SU a people's republic.
Overlord Manji - quit her edboard post to prepare her campaign.
Shanela Hack! - winner of the least visible exec member award 2006/07.
Comms
Simon Malfoy Douglas - C&S bureaucrat seeks Sabb position. Competency guaranteed.
Slimeball Sheldon - shit stirrer. Has he pissed off one too many hacks?
Kayt "Changes Monthly" Berry - can she do a Stacie?
"Allo, I'm" Dan Dolan - yet another media groupee.
Ben "Jayson Blair" Biggs - haha.
Wil needs a Barber - let's hope he doesn't do another "I RESIGN!!" speech.
Non-Sabb Exec coming soon... contain yourselves.
Very hush hush...
SU hacks beware: Greens, Free Speechers and right-wingers alike. We have gossip and we're not afraid to publish it!
No longer does the Beaver oligarchy have a monopoly on all the juiciest secrets of the SU. Power to the people!
Stay tuned for some sexy nuggets of hacky gossip and remember to give us some off the record tip offs...
No longer does the Beaver oligarchy have a monopoly on all the juiciest secrets of the SU. Power to the people!
Stay tuned for some sexy nuggets of hacky gossip and remember to give us some off the record tip offs...
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