According to Facebook, the newest member of F&S, Sanjiv "Full colour posters" Nanwani, has amassed a huge number friends in his short time on Houghton St. Here is a quick comparison:
Sanjiv Nanwani: 373 friends at LSE in 5 months.
Jimmy Tam: 1,031 friends at LSE in 4 years.
Hack Attack projections indicate that networking crazy Sanj will have 3,580.8 LSE 'friends' when he finishes his year as Treasurer in '10/'11. This sets a new level in hackular ambition. Oh joy.
Wednesday, 12 March 2008
In other news...
If you thought our Union was fucked, spare a thought for these poor bastards.
At UCL, their GenSec has just been suspended following a controversial AGM in which the now infamous 'Demilitarised zone of Gower St' motion passed [i.e. stop cadet forces from recruiting on campus]. Seems the meeting was dodgier than Fadhil and Jonathon Aitken setting up a timeshare company.
Now the right wingers are rejoycing and attempting to overturn the decision - UCL itself has launched an inquiry. Lefties around London are expressing their 'solidarity' with their beleaguered comrade. Jokes.
Essex University Union (yes, it is a proper university) has had its fair share of troubles, too. The incumbent Labour careerist President Doughty was re-elected in the face of opposition from the Trot-coalition 'Viva Essex' (LOL). Turns out the RESPECT lot did quite well: taking every Sabb post apart from President. That was until someone smelt a rat. Someone voted 180 times on the online voting thingy, and the Union called in the Feds (aka NUS's election observers).
Following a re-count, and without the benefit of the hanging chads, Stinkin' Rich Doughty is leaving Essex to wallow in its own pointless leftist grandstanding. His only legacy is this gruesome corporate video:
Finally, whilst we have elected a welsh Dildo, York Union has elected a Pirate as their President. Seriously. He has pledged to dress and talk as a pirate for the whole year. Hack Attack strongly endorses this candidate, and is currently drafting a motion to mandate all of next year's Sabbs follow suit. Yaaaaar!
At UCL, their GenSec has just been suspended following a controversial AGM in which the now infamous 'Demilitarised zone of Gower St' motion passed [i.e. stop cadet forces from recruiting on campus]. Seems the meeting was dodgier than Fadhil and Jonathon Aitken setting up a timeshare company.
Now the right wingers are rejoycing and attempting to overturn the decision - UCL itself has launched an inquiry. Lefties around London are expressing their 'solidarity' with their beleaguered comrade. Jokes.
Essex University Union (yes, it is a proper university) has had its fair share of troubles, too. The incumbent Labour careerist President Doughty was re-elected in the face of opposition from the Trot-coalition 'Viva Essex' (LOL). Turns out the RESPECT lot did quite well: taking every Sabb post apart from President. That was until someone smelt a rat. Someone voted 180 times on the online voting thingy, and the Union called in the Feds (aka NUS's election observers).
Following a re-count, and without the benefit of the hanging chads, Stinkin' Rich Doughty is leaving Essex to wallow in its own pointless leftist grandstanding. His only legacy is this gruesome corporate video:
Finally, whilst we have elected a welsh Dildo, York Union has elected a Pirate as their President. Seriously. He has pledged to dress and talk as a pirate for the whole year. Hack Attack strongly endorses this candidate, and is currently drafting a motion to mandate all of next year's Sabbs follow suit. Yaaaaar!
Unattrributed quote
Which member of the new exec exclaimed "My fingers smell like I've been fingering" following a seafood dish at the first executive committee dinner?
Wasn't the only case of 'Too Much Information' that night.
Wasn't the only case of 'Too Much Information' that night.
Spotted!
Steve "Lend us a fiver" Wall causing havoc at the Law Ball. The Unchosen One was getting physical, ripping buttons off the shirts of the Dolanator and starting fights with laid back jazz enthusiasts.
Tings have got to change!
Tings have got to change!
Tuesday, 11 March 2008
Soulja Boy's Shame
Muslims might not drink, but BeerCan does, at least he would, if he wasn't a child.
At Dildo Fishbate's masterbation fest BeerCan was ID'd by the comedy waiters not once but twice.
On discovering his babybum face was actually owned by a 20 year old, they apologised, "it's just, you look like a teenager."
His inability to obtain alcohol makes the following video even more mysterious. Enjoy.
At Dildo Fishbate's masterbation fest BeerCan was ID'd by the comedy waiters not once but twice.
On discovering his babybum face was actually owned by a 20 year old, they apologised, "it's just, you look like a teenager."
His inability to obtain alcohol makes the following video even more mysterious. Enjoy.
See you at the soshieties' awards!
Or maybe you won't, because Captain Morgan couldn't be fucked to tell anyone.
This Fat Hack is looking forward to devouring the £300 worth of grub up for grabs. The pricy bill is apparently justified because 'Muslims don't drink'.
What!? Maybe they get high on prawns covered in breadcrumbs instead?
A fishy affair
Bogus BeerCan feels muscular and defiant.
He holds his head up high - smug and proud that his authoritah is allowing his decision to go against the following people:
- All the current sabbs
- All the current exec
- All the sabb-elects
- All the new exec
- All human beings that have brains - fully or partially functioning
Essentially, the dealio is that Whiny-Moany Roberts and 'Em..-fuck-the-rules' Fishy are going to battle it out in the gladiator arena that is the Old Theatre for their crown as Residences Officer in a rare Summer Term UGM.
This Hack-a-Caesar knows that he's got his way not because he threw a strop, cried for a day, and humiliatingly wet himself, but because he has been secretly having steamy antics with the Constitution. Their erotic relationship has warped BeerCan's mind, as love tends to do. Simultaneously, Ketters, after hearing the news of the Constitution and BeerCan, has gone to Oxford to try and cop off with theirs.He's got a good chance; it's a bit of a slag.
Friday, 7 March 2008
Sabbs-elect weigh in on Fischer-Roberts War
The self-proclaimed Dream Team just couldn't wait to get started, so have emailed the whole exec suggesting that a cross-campus ballot re-run be held on the contested Residences race. Talk about an abuse (of lack of) power!
To say Jimmy "GenSec of the Year Never" BeerCan and Andrew AlsoRan Halibut are displeased is an understatement. They are determined to maintain their iron grip on the constitutional affairs of the Union. Looks like they are being overruled by the exec who are, erm, actually trustees of the fucking SU.
Boo hoo.
To say Jimmy "GenSec of the Year Never" BeerCan and Andrew AlsoRan Halibut are displeased is an understatement. They are determined to maintain their iron grip on the constitutional affairs of the Union. Looks like they are being overruled by the exec who are, erm, actually trustees of the fucking SU.
Boo hoo.
Heard on Pulse Radio today...
"Electing Joseph Brown as Anti-Racism Officer is like letting Gary Glitter run a nursery."
The lighter side of Ziyaad Looney
Whilst we are on a YouTube binge, we may as well watch this LSE classic from last year.
Hack Attack reproduces the following video without comment.
Hack Attack reproduces the following video without comment.
Fadhil is a slimey GenSec
Fact.
Looks a bit too much like an al-Zarqawi style beheading video for this Hack's liking. Shame Ben Phillips didn't get gunked, too.
Video courtesy of the LSE Observer.
Looks a bit too much like an al-Zarqawi style beheading video for this Hack's liking. Shame Ben Phillips didn't get gunked, too.
Video courtesy of the LSE Observer.
Juxaposition of the century
Last night, the great and good of our Union filed into the Quad for an evening of mutual masturation over how good and progressive we all are. Sam 'London Citizens is my life' Causton shook off that last remain bit of Public School guilt by preaching the gospel of Living Wage one last time. We even had a few cleaners speak to us about how thankful they were to all the committed activists who changed their lives. It made this Hack feel warm and fuzzy inside.
All was going well until someone asked "Can you tell us what difference the Living Wage has made to your life?" (answer: not much, really).
Even better was the question: "What can we, as students, do to make your lives, as cleaners, easier?". The poor lady recalled a particularly messy collection of rooms she and her colleagues struggled to tackle last week. Apparently some students had left the 3rd floor of the Old Building in quite a state, with broken windows, litter and naughty graffiti everywhere. Sound familiar? Cue ashened faces from the guilty Hacks in the audience.
Elsewhere in the East Building, the Celtic Clique were having a Whiskey 'tasting' session, interspersed with a poor 2nd year trying to conduct a quiz/information session over the loud 'banter' of the audience.
The meeting was like an inverse image of the Social Justus wank-session below. Political incorrectness galore: Steve "Quasi-Human" Wall was giving it large, Doug "Gordon Brown" Oliver was doling out the booze and Crazy Welshname + the remnants of Team Daisy were soaking it up.
"Dream Team! DREAM TEAM! What an UNFORTUNATE term!" was Steve WTF Wall's opening gambit when Billy Barbershop walked in with his leftie possie. He was already busy berating Odd Bod for being a vacuous shit, telling him to get his ridiculous hair cut. Wil duly volunteered to do the honours.
The night ended, as it always does, with a Tuns throw out. Wall could be heard repeating his mantra of "300 votes... not bad for an anti-disabled Irish postgrad bigot!".
Indeed, Steve. Buy the man a whiskey. But I'll tell you who the Tuns isn't serving... Steve Wall.
All was going well until someone asked "Can you tell us what difference the Living Wage has made to your life?" (answer: not much, really).
Even better was the question: "What can we, as students, do to make your lives, as cleaners, easier?". The poor lady recalled a particularly messy collection of rooms she and her colleagues struggled to tackle last week. Apparently some students had left the 3rd floor of the Old Building in quite a state, with broken windows, litter and naughty graffiti everywhere. Sound familiar? Cue ashened faces from the guilty Hacks in the audience.
Elsewhere in the East Building, the Celtic Clique were having a Whiskey 'tasting' session, interspersed with a poor 2nd year trying to conduct a quiz/information session over the loud 'banter' of the audience.
The meeting was like an inverse image of the Social Justus wank-session below. Political incorrectness galore: Steve "Quasi-Human" Wall was giving it large, Doug "Gordon Brown" Oliver was doling out the booze and Crazy Welshname + the remnants of Team Daisy were soaking it up.
"Dream Team! DREAM TEAM! What an UNFORTUNATE term!" was Steve WTF Wall's opening gambit when Billy Barbershop walked in with his leftie possie. He was already busy berating Odd Bod for being a vacuous shit, telling him to get his ridiculous hair cut. Wil duly volunteered to do the honours.
The night ended, as it always does, with a Tuns throw out. Wall could be heard repeating his mantra of "300 votes... not bad for an anti-disabled Irish postgrad bigot!".
Indeed, Steve. Buy the man a whiskey. But I'll tell you who the Tuns isn't serving... Steve Wall.
Accountability of Accounting Society
The Chinese Mafia were yesterday demolished by the Karachi Public School Set in one of the dodgiest society AGMs ever witnessed in the SU (Ruskies and FinSoc aside).
The current committee (aka PRC) were overwhelmed by the incoming Pakistani army (aka PPP), who sent this to their followers:
Hello Everyone. In order to vote, you guys have to be member of accounting society. in order to do that, just send an email to Su.Soc.Accounting@lse.ac.uk
Its completely Free
We need your support.
Thank you
The sheer force of this nuanced and tactical manoeuvre was simply too much for the PRC. They lost most positions, despite deciding that current committee members were entitled to two votes each. That might be how Chinese democracy works, but things are different here, chaps!
Not that it made much of a difference to the PPP. They were too busy fighting amongst themselves to care about the legitimacy of the vote, or the number of non-society members who were voting.
This birdy hears that complaints are being filed.
The current committee (aka PRC) were overwhelmed by the incoming Pakistani army (aka PPP), who sent this to their followers:
Hello Everyone. In order to vote, you guys have to be member of accounting society. in order to do that, just send an email to Su.Soc.Accounting@lse.ac.uk
Its completely Free
We need your support.
Thank you
The sheer force of this nuanced and tactical manoeuvre was simply too much for the PRC. They lost most positions, despite deciding that current committee members were entitled to two votes each. That might be how Chinese democracy works, but things are different here, chaps!
Not that it made much of a difference to the PPP. They were too busy fighting amongst themselves to care about the legitimacy of the vote, or the number of non-society members who were voting.
This birdy hears that complaints are being filed.
Poor Shayaan
At this time of year, please spare a thought for the less fortunate amongst us. After missing out on that Treasurer position, poor Shayaan has now been reduced to wearing a ridiculous mouse outfit during Mayoral debates. My heart bleeds... actually, no it doesn't! He's leaving us to become a corporate lawyer.
No show from Dick Whittington
Or Brian "hot boyfriend" Paddick. But we had our sham of a Mayoral debate anyway.
Sian "doing it for the fit" Berry took time out of her busy schedule of not driving 4x4s to brown nose our own Green Saviour, Dildo Fascist-Fisher. Vomit inducing.
In the Trot corner, Lindsey Germinates looked about as outdated as her policies. RESPECT my arse.
Highlight, though, was Ed Laizhy's fightback to his perceived "establishment stitch-up", putting down ridiculous outbursts from Konstitutional Ketts [who has now become a parody of himself] and protesting about Aled "the Green Party stooge". Very incisive considering he ventured into our Union for a matter of minutes!
The only person who came out of it with any respectability was LSE's own Tony Travers. Question: "who here likes bendy buses?".
Audience: "WE DO... FREE BUS!".
Sian "doing it for the fit" Berry took time out of her busy schedule of not driving 4x4s to brown nose our own Green Saviour, Dildo Fascist-Fisher. Vomit inducing.
In the Trot corner, Lindsey Germinates looked about as outdated as her policies. RESPECT my arse.
Highlight, though, was Ed Laizhy's fightback to his perceived "establishment stitch-up", putting down ridiculous outbursts from Konstitutional Ketts [who has now become a parody of himself] and protesting about Aled "the Green Party stooge". Very incisive considering he ventured into our Union for a matter of minutes!
The only person who came out of it with any respectability was LSE's own Tony Travers. Question: "who here likes bendy buses?".
Audience: "WE DO... FREE BUS!".
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
