Friday, 25 January 2008
Thursday, 24 January 2008
The Sanctuary
... is crap. Fuck off out of our Union.
P.S. This does not mean you are off the hook either, Beaver.
P.S. This does not mean you are off the hook either, Beaver.
Seeing Double
Dear Sir,
After attending today's UGM I could not help noticing the similarity between the manager of a popular student radio station and a well loved pseudo-colonialist Belgian journalist.
Do you think they have shared the secret of eternal youth, or just fashion tips?
Yours faithfully,
Kimberley McAdams
Awareless weeks
After Miss LSE-gate and banner-gate, Mrs Caspell has canceled one of the events in her Women's-come-anarcho-Trot Week, sending a rather disgruntled email to exec. Let's take a closer look at who is to blame for the shoddy awareness weeks...
Could it be the mild mannered Sabbs? Have they been too busy writing dodgy letters to give enough support to the part-time Officers? Awareness Weeks certainly haven't been high on their todo lists!
Perhaps it is the over-zealous societies, who are so keen to host their own "weeks" that they end up clashing worse than Sheldonstein's wardrobe. Note: this week it is Women's Week, India Week, Palestine Awareness Week (cheers for that, I wasn't aware beforehand) and Amy Winehouse on Crack Week.
Maybe it is the part-time exec officers themselves, who having achieved such a great office of state have realised its not all its cracked up to be. See also: fucking dire Exec meeting turnouts (maybe something to do with them being scheduled at ridic-o'clock? what kind of students do they think we are?!).
Or could it be "ordinary" students, so pissed off with the barrage of weeks, events, fundraisers and public lectures that they are, er, actually doing their fucking degrees? Surely not.
Could it be the mild mannered Sabbs? Have they been too busy writing dodgy letters to give enough support to the part-time Officers? Awareness Weeks certainly haven't been high on their todo lists!
Perhaps it is the over-zealous societies, who are so keen to host their own "weeks" that they end up clashing worse than Sheldonstein's wardrobe. Note: this week it is Women's Week, India Week, Palestine Awareness Week (cheers for that, I wasn't aware beforehand) and Amy Winehouse on Crack Week.
Maybe it is the part-time exec officers themselves, who having achieved such a great office of state have realised its not all its cracked up to be. See also: fucking dire Exec meeting turnouts (maybe something to do with them being scheduled at ridic-o'clock? what kind of students do they think we are?!).
Or could it be "ordinary" students, so pissed off with the barrage of weeks, events, fundraisers and public lectures that they are, er, actually doing their fucking degrees? Surely not.
Return of the (dirty) mac
Nice to see some old faces at the count of the secret UGM ballot today.
At one point, there were three generations of Returning Officer on stage: Bluetooth Bacon, Dolly Mixture and Billy "I resign... no Daisy, no" Barbershop Quartet. Ah well, at least they're good for something. The question on everyone's lips... where was Eerie Beciri?
Also milling around was Clement Nolonger-Young, who was moaning about something or other like a drunken Scot in the corner of a pub. Bless.
Special mention should also go to Gobinson, who decided to lighten the rather stern mood with sweets, chocolates and Pulse Radio... if only we could broadcast Pulse over the Middle East all the problems would be solved overnight!
At one point, there were three generations of Returning Officer on stage: Bluetooth Bacon, Dolly Mixture and Billy "I resign... no Daisy, no" Barbershop Quartet. Ah well, at least they're good for something. The question on everyone's lips... where was Eerie Beciri?
Also milling around was Clement Nolonger-Young, who was moaning about something or other like a drunken Scot in the corner of a pub. Bless.
Special mention should also go to Gobinson, who decided to lighten the rather stern mood with sweets, chocolates and Pulse Radio... if only we could broadcast Pulse over the Middle East all the problems would be solved overnight!
How to solve the Middle East conflict in 40 minutes
Last week there was a discussion about how to improve dwindling UGM attendances. Some muppet suggested proposing a motion on Israel every week. I thought they were joking!
Read the facts here
Final vote was 285 For to 292 Against. Motion fell with 60 abstentions.
Funniest part was James "Boil in the bag" Ketts who almost did a replay of his infamous "you're all a bunch of fucking idiots" walkout, but in front of a much bigger audience! Thankfully nobody took him seriously, but maybe the Sabbs should have done the video link to the New Theatre like in the olden days?
James then went to make the following piece of political literature. I think you'll agree, it's up there with the Declaration of Independence and the magna carta. Enjoy (apologies for the blur):
Read the facts here
Final vote was 285 For to 292 Against. Motion fell with 60 abstentions.
Funniest part was James "Boil in the bag" Ketts who almost did a replay of his infamous "you're all a bunch of fucking idiots" walkout, but in front of a much bigger audience! Thankfully nobody took him seriously, but maybe the Sabbs should have done the video link to the New Theatre like in the olden days?
James then went to make the following piece of political literature. I think you'll agree, it's up there with the Declaration of Independence and the magna carta. Enjoy (apologies for the blur):
Sting like a Bengali?!
It has come to this hack's attention that a certain man around town was mysteriously left off the runners and riders list below. This muscle bound EastEnder is sure to run for something (everything, if he could)... but we here at Hack Attack refuse to give this joker the oxygen of publicity.
Abz #1 for an-noy-ing every-one!
Abz #1 for an-noy-ing every-one!
Wednesday, 23 January 2008
Beer Can
Seems like everyone's favourite earpiece wearing bureaucrat has been living up to his reputation as "the fifth Sabb" by getting involved in pretty much everything possible within the SU. Some of his colleagues aren't happy though. Not only does the exec disagree with his society endorsement plans, but there is now growing unease over his "finger in every pie" mentality. Perhaps somebody should tell him that his only responsibility is elections?
More a case of "back off bacon" than "back bacon"!
More a case of "back off bacon" than "back bacon"!
Consernation and Strife Committee
Those who missed C&S yesterday missed a real treat: Zionists (or should that be Zionist?), PalSoccers, chaos and Fadhil on the backfoot. Aled got in a tizzy with the flamboyant Felix; Andy offended pretty much everybody and Jefferson took a break from his hectic post-graduation work schedule to lend his wise words to the "perverse" committee. Unfortunately for Fadhil, Marshall-Courtney II (for it is he) had the sword of truth and the trusty shield of fair play on his side. Poor Fadhil resorted to shouting "you can't tell me how to do my job". Well, fortunately, Fadhil: we can!
Tuesday, 22 January 2008
Debating in the UGM about the Middle East is like competing in the Special Olympics...
Looks like another Middle East conflict in the UGM this week. PalSoc want to boycott Israel. What's new?
Hamas' Yasser Lunat will no doubt take on Likud's Ben Sheldonstein for yet another pointless argument. Yawn.
Hamas' Yasser Lunat will no doubt take on Likud's Ben Sheldonstein for yet another pointless argument. Yawn.
Firoz frozen out
Seems like our International Officer is rather peeved with the 'Timeless' cultural show, which has somewhat overshadow his own lacklusture 'Global Show'. Boo hoo.
Monday, 21 January 2008
Wicked whispers...
Shhh....
Which handsfree wearing bureaucrat is already planning his Gen Sec race? He already spends more time in the office than Fadhil himself...
Which floppy haired 60s reject is planning an all out offensive against Jews, Muslims and any other minority who gets in his way. Wave goodbye to Halal food in the SU if this troublemaker gets in!
Which political society is falling apart at the seams? All of them!
Which handsfree wearing bureaucrat is already planning his Gen Sec race? He already spends more time in the office than Fadhil himself...
Which floppy haired 60s reject is planning an all out offensive against Jews, Muslims and any other minority who gets in his way. Wave goodbye to Halal food in the SU if this troublemaker gets in!
Which political society is falling apart at the seams? All of them!
Election rumours...
Gen Sec
Aled Dildo is Fishy - the greater anti-capitalist crusader will do the inevitable by handing in his nomination form for Gen Sec. Look forward to mandatory biodegradable underwear for all LSE students, sit-ins during the UGM and letters supporting Sian Berry for London Mayor.
Randy Mulllet - is going to put himself on the ballot. About as surprising as seeing Ed Chavasco in the Tuns.
The Sultan of Colombo - probably not. The word on the street is that he is stepping aside for Aled, but will come back for another year of unadulterated success in 2009/10. Oh Joy.
Crazy O'NoBrains - Quit ages ago. Will she do a Spice Girls-esque comeback?
Treasurer
Dolly Mixture - will the great networker go for something winnable, or is the thought of facing off with Dilwyn for Gen Sec be too tempting?
Farreeeeed Butt - lesser known hack with a massive base.
Ed Welfare
Crazy Welshname - stepping stone to a career in the NHS? Unlikely.
James Ketamine - after his demolition in last year's elections, subsequent disillusionment with the Union and several public breakdowns later, surely he is a dead cert to run again? Let's hope Randy talks him out of it.
Mrs Caspell - end the bourgeois dictatorship of E299! Will run a paper campaign directed by JJ.
Comms
Sheldon - ZOG takeover of the union imminent.
Ziyaad - will it be the Arab-Israeli conflict writ small?
Aled Dildo is Fishy - the greater anti-capitalist crusader will do the inevitable by handing in his nomination form for Gen Sec. Look forward to mandatory biodegradable underwear for all LSE students, sit-ins during the UGM and letters supporting Sian Berry for London Mayor.
Randy Mulllet - is going to put himself on the ballot. About as surprising as seeing Ed Chavasco in the Tuns.
The Sultan of Colombo - probably not. The word on the street is that he is stepping aside for Aled, but will come back for another year of unadulterated success in 2009/10. Oh Joy.
Crazy O'NoBrains - Quit ages ago. Will she do a Spice Girls-esque comeback?
Treasurer
Dolly Mixture - will the great networker go for something winnable, or is the thought of facing off with Dilwyn for Gen Sec be too tempting?
Farreeeeed Butt - lesser known hack with a massive base.
Ed Welfare
Crazy Welshname - stepping stone to a career in the NHS? Unlikely.
James Ketamine - after his demolition in last year's elections, subsequent disillusionment with the Union and several public breakdowns later, surely he is a dead cert to run again? Let's hope Randy talks him out of it.
Mrs Caspell - end the bourgeois dictatorship of E299! Will run a paper campaign directed by JJ.
Comms
Sheldon - ZOG takeover of the union imminent.
Ziyaad - will it be the Arab-Israeli conflict writ small?
Replacing London's Victorian Water Mains
Not for the first time, the civil service has been interfering with the executive and judicial branches of our fifedom. It's like Yes, Minister without the style.
As I mentioned to you earlier, I am getting somewhat concerned by the apparent inability and/or unwillingness of the Constitution and Steering Committee to act within the Union Constitution. Last weeks decision to allow discussion of an Emergency Business motion despite the fact that it clearly failed to meet a single one of the 3 requirements for an Emergency Business Motion set out in section 11.11.2 of the Standing Orders is merely the latest of a series of perverse and inexplicable C & S decisions. (the decision to treat a motion as lapsed after 3 weeks and to order the re-printing of the order paper without it , despite the 3 week lapse rule having been removed years ago and the decision to accept the submission of a business motion, obviously prior to the Monday 17.00 deadline, as something that could be the subject of an Emergency Business Motion are two other recent examples).
Although these unconstitutional and clearly improper rulings are being taken by C & S , the legal advice we took in relation to paper throwing makes it clear that the Union's trustees (ie the exec) and the Chair of the UGM are legally responsible for the conduct of the UGM. C & S's ignorance of, or possibly just indifference to , the Union's governing documents seems to me to be putting the Exec and the UGM Chair in an extremely difficult position.
As you are aware , SU's will shortly be required to register with the Charity Commission and will , for the first time be regulated directly by them. There is widespread concern in the SU movement that the Charity Commission will take the view that direct election of trustees from the membership fails to provide for proper governance . Many SU's are moving to having appointed trustees in place of some elected exec members (with alumni, local dignitaries, University or Union staff acting as trustees).
I think there is a broad consensus that we do not want to go down this route. This means that we have to be able to demonstrate that directly elected trustees can provide good governance. Failure to even to run the UGM in accordance with the Codes of Practice and Standing Orders is really shooting ourselves in the foot and I think the exec need to address the situation and in extremis, they need to be willing to ignore/over rule C& S when they go off the rails. As part of out preparation for the new Charity Act, I think we need to review whether there is a useful role for a C & S committee and if there is, we need to ensure that the Constitution reflects the legal reality that such a body can only be advisory to the trustees , who carry legal liability and must be the final decision makers. If the trustees act improperly , or allow the Union's business to be conducted improperly it is no defence that C & S told them to do so.
I think it would be useful to have a discussion at exec about how resolve this problem and to invite the C& S chair and UGM chair to attend.
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