Miss LS-Peeved

If you want to know how to wind-up Emmanuel "cum-into-my-office-I've-got-plenty-of-condoms" Anki-Panky, then ask the female bar-worker (who Hack Attack loves for the true person she really is, and not at all because of her exterior appearence) who worked at AfterSkool on Saturday.

Whilst she was chatting up one of his friends from da east-end massiv, they paused for a moment on the topic of the upcoming Miss LSE (Hack Attack does not endorse this disgusting, misogynistic event that sees beauty as only skin deep). The conversation unearthed that Anki-Panky has not been having much of what's in his name lately, and the bar person joked that perhaps Miss LSE was the perfect opportunity for Head-Welfare to get some. Maybe he's been being such a leaflet fascist (ripping them from the Tuns, Quad, behind the bars and posters to boot) that he doth profess to much at his disdain for the sexy, gorgeous parade?

When Crew Member 1 tells his bru of of this jest, Em rushes to the bar worker and unleashes a hell-like rage upon her, threatens to plague her eyelashes with hair-eating locusts and boasts that seeing as he is her boss she should watch what comes our of her filthy, heathen mouth, or else...

The poor lass won't leave the house now, and instead spends her days watching Sex in the City, painting her nails and applying an unhealthy amount of fake tan. Where's the Welfare in that?