'I'll stab up up yea blud...'

Odd-Bod Dan Smeldon was mugged at knife point last night, whilst wandering around lost looking for a Halloween party that would let him in.

Apparently, two hooded black yoots started walking towards him, at which point Smelly-dong ran away like a tubby, little girl screaming 'Help!' at the top of his voice. Obviously, no one came to help, so when the yoots eventually caught him up (which didn't take long as he's hardly Linford Christie) they kicked him in the leg and gave him a little cut above the eye with a butter knife. He refused to give them his iPhone, but said that they could take his female housemate, next to him at the time. The yoots declined.

When he did get to the party, everyone thought he had the best costume there. 'The blood looked really realistic,' they thought.