Any eagle-eyed Hack Attack readers might have noticed a disappearing post over the weekend. The flabbaticals are well touchy about a certain policy, much shouted about at election time, and now apparently top secret.
So top secret in fact, that they decided not to bother telling the Exec about it, and presented a decision to them at the meeting of Union trustees. Cue much wailing and gnashing of teeth.
It is hard to stay on meesage when you're not told what the message is, and as a result, the whole thing is leaking out of every Union orifice imaginable. Ask an Exec member if you really want to know...
Monday, 15 December 2008
Saturday, 13 December 2008
In a job, out of a job
Sounds like we're gonna have ourselves a hot n' steamy Comms. race next term.
Bush-hugging, communist beaver diver, Mikhiel Trees is lining himself up, running on a ticket of socialist propaganda. Also, ex-Fuhrer Fart-hil ill baker is attracted by the £26k again (the only people that will employ him now is SU reception) and is looking at a couple of sabb options. He'll probably be just as incompetent, tho at least he might listen to his students...
But wait a minute, SHOCK SHOCK HORROR!!!!!!!, what's that?! A codes of praccy amend to only allow sabbers in the job for ONE TERM? Surely not; it's too unfair on the economy to let those 4 lose into the job market during these rocky times...
That could really fuck up their party.
Bush-hugging, communist beaver diver, Mikhiel Trees is lining himself up, running on a ticket of socialist propaganda. Also, ex-Fuhrer Fart-hil ill baker is attracted by the £26k again (the only people that will employ him now is SU reception) and is looking at a couple of sabb options. He'll probably be just as incompetent, tho at least he might listen to his students...
But wait a minute, SHOCK SHOCK HORROR!!!!!!!, what's that?! A codes of praccy amend to only allow sabbers in the job for ONE TERM? Surely not; it's too unfair on the economy to let those 4 lose into the job market during these rocky times...
That could really fuck up their party.
Wednesday, 10 December 2008
Hatin' Bacon
So, all you dedicated Hack Attack followers, how many of you is Bacon not talking to at the moment? How many of you are getting yourself in a tizz because he might not have said hello to you in the Quad once? How many of you are convinced that his thinking that we don't need referendums is a personal attack on you? And how many of you answering yes are on the exec?
Having seen a few emails and heard a few conversations, the level of anti-Bacon solidarity on the exec is certainly impressive (stay on message guys...), but there seems a fine line between this and victimisation and bullying. I'm sure the honourable parties involved will stay on the right side of it, and that we can forget this whole petty, spiteful business after Thursday.
Having seen a few emails and heard a few conversations, the level of anti-Bacon solidarity on the exec is certainly impressive (stay on message guys...), but there seems a fine line between this and victimisation and bullying. I'm sure the honourable parties involved will stay on the right side of it, and that we can forget this whole petty, spiteful business after Thursday.
Wednesday, 3 December 2008
SOAS feminists are better than their LSE equalvents...
...at least at creating anti-beauty pageant chants anyway.
At this year's Miss LSE - the wonderful, charity fund-raising event, where ladies who know how to have a bit of fun let their hair down and entertain a welcoming crowd - the anti-beauty contingent had these among their chants:
"Women are sex objects, object!"
"LSE not Misogamy!"
Come on guys and girls, a group of lazy, weed-smoking, hole-in-trouser wearing, poor excuses for students could do better than that. And indeed, SOAS did:
"SOAS is for education,
not for you're ejaculation!"
Quite who was thinking about ejaculating over SOAS, I don't know. But it is a rather good chant.
At this year's Miss LSE - the wonderful, charity fund-raising event, where ladies who know how to have a bit of fun let their hair down and entertain a welcoming crowd - the anti-beauty contingent had these among their chants:
"Women are sex objects, object!"
"LSE not Misogamy!"
Come on guys and girls, a group of lazy, weed-smoking, hole-in-trouser wearing, poor excuses for students could do better than that. And indeed, SOAS did:
"SOAS is for education,
not for you're ejaculation!"
Quite who was thinking about ejaculating over SOAS, I don't know. But it is a rather good chant.
Tuesday, 2 December 2008
"Welcom to Imperial - the student experience"
Apparently Imperial's student experience is the same as a Channel 4 'Schools' TV programme from the 90s...
Saturday, 29 November 2008
Innocent, until proven innocent
Big up yourself Prakhar B! Respect for sortin' all the HA Massiv with a bangin' welcome message to ya Inns ov Court website!!!
Tip: Next time you try and make it look like a hacker got deep inside your data stream and set up loving notes to all our viewers and then plead naivety and innocence, do it properly, yea?
Safe.
Tip: Next time you try and make it look like a hacker got deep inside your data stream and set up loving notes to all our viewers and then plead naivety and innocence, do it properly, yea?
Safe.
Friday, 28 November 2008
We should all read the Constitution more
Here's a little snippet of the Constitution...
"12. Amendments
[Constiution amendments cut]
12.2 To the Codes of Practice
12.2.1 Any amendment to Codes of Practice shall be given at least three weeks public notice in term time and shall require the assent of at least two-thirds majority of the members present and voting at a quorate General Meeting of the Union
." (emphasis added)
So, it would seem the AU wag who called quoracy yesterday was indeed drawing our naive eyes towards the light, and showing us the error of our procedure.
It clearly means that all this Exec stropping that has been going on because people insist on calling for inquoracy counts is misdirected. The Codes of Practice change to allow referenda cannot pass if they're aren't 150 people in the UGM. Best get to work shepherding people in then boys.
On another point, Aled might not been quite so wrong in saying that we could debate the motion in the 4th week, given that it only needs 'at least three weeks public notice'. But then the Codes of Practice say those motions need 4... Who knows, and who really cares?
"12. Amendments
[Constiution amendments cut]
12.2 To the Codes of Practice
12.2.1 Any amendment to Codes of Practice shall be given at least three weeks public notice in term time and shall require the assent of at least two-thirds majority of the members present and voting at a quorate General Meeting of the Union
." (emphasis added)
So, it would seem the AU wag who called quoracy yesterday was indeed drawing our naive eyes towards the light, and showing us the error of our procedure.
It clearly means that all this Exec stropping that has been going on because people insist on calling for inquoracy counts is misdirected. The Codes of Practice change to allow referenda cannot pass if they're aren't 150 people in the UGM. Best get to work shepherding people in then boys.
On another point, Aled might not been quite so wrong in saying that we could debate the motion in the 4th week, given that it only needs 'at least three weeks public notice'. But then the Codes of Practice say those motions need 4... Who knows, and who really cares?
A question...
When is an inquorate meeting not inquorate?
When they decide afterwards that it was suspended because of paper throwing before the inquracy call, thereby saving all that had gone before in yesterday's UGM.
Nimble footed constitutional hops from Kev there, but, you know, there might be a problem with that not actually being what happened? What we need is some sort of recording of this public meeting, rather than having to rely on the minutes taken. I would never go so far as to suggest that the current powers are conniving enough to undertake Stalinist rewritings of history, but the current powers are conniving enough to undertake Stalinist rewritings of history, and I wouldn't really trust the minutes.
Any media man happen to get it on record? Care to share?
When they decide afterwards that it was suspended because of paper throwing before the inquracy call, thereby saving all that had gone before in yesterday's UGM.
Nimble footed constitutional hops from Kev there, but, you know, there might be a problem with that not actually being what happened? What we need is some sort of recording of this public meeting, rather than having to rely on the minutes taken. I would never go so far as to suggest that the current powers are conniving enough to undertake Stalinist rewritings of history, but the current powers are conniving enough to undertake Stalinist rewritings of history, and I wouldn't really trust the minutes.
Any media man happen to get it on record? Care to share?
Monday, 24 November 2008
Babes, was it something we said?
"So. You came to our website after reading Hack Attack. No use lying to me, your computer just betrayed to me the websites you've been to recently. If you seriously read and believe every piece of shit that's posted there, you need to have your head examined. Now why don't you just nip back and join the rest of the SU assholes?"
"Oh, and if you happen to be the total cocksucker who thought it'd be cool to whinge to the SU about 'technicalities', please accept our sincere FUCK YOU, and keep your dirty nose out of where it doesn't belong. Rest assured, we will deal with you"
"Oh, and if you happen to be the total cocksucker who thought it'd be cool to whinge to the SU about 'technicalities', please accept our sincere FUCK YOU, and keep your dirty nose out of where it doesn't belong. Rest assured, we will deal with you"
Friday, 21 November 2008
At least we're not at King's...
So yeah, Aled might swear on Pulse, but at least we don't have to sack him for being a gosh darned awful racist...
Potty pouty mouth
What could have riled the Führer so much that he was reduced to effing and blinding on the State of the Union show on Pulse today?
Was he still bitter over his failure at the UGM yesterday, even after he had thrown a little strop, and (dubiously) claimed to be able to count to four?
Was he tired of having to step in to break up the handbags between Beancounter and Blackberry Moussavi, each accusing the other of shouting in the UGM (the horror)?
Or was it being told on air that his power is nothing without a bunch of pissheads at the Real Ale society?
Was he still bitter over his failure at the UGM yesterday, even after he had thrown a little strop, and (dubiously) claimed to be able to count to four?
Was he tired of having to step in to break up the handbags between Beancounter and Blackberry Moussavi, each accusing the other of shouting in the UGM (the horror)?
Or was it being told on air that his power is nothing without a bunch of pissheads at the Real Ale society?
Thursday, 20 November 2008
National Union of Shit-sticks
Last week six happy hacks went to Wolverhampton to NUselesS Conference for a day-long constitutional wankfest. At the Union's expense (natch), they traveled to the glamorous Midlands. And for what? Three of them voted in favour, the other three against. So, they might as well have
stayed at home (or at work, in some cases!). The most mysterious bit of the day was Faddy-Barking-Mader's arm, which seemed to have a mind of its own: voting for proposals he has been opposed to for many moons!
stayed at home (or at work, in some cases!). The most mysterious bit of the day was Faddy-Barking-Mader's arm, which seemed to have a mind of its own: voting for proposals he has been opposed to for many moons!
Vom-tastic!
Which Sabb threw up in his office earlier today? Apparently he read Kevin's letter (below) and couldn't hold back. Still, makes a change from the kind of bodily fluid that has graced that particular office in previous years...
Oslo Accords: Take II
Where the Bill Clinton failed, one man is attempting the impossible: to bring love and unity to the Middle East, to spread peace where there was war and to fulfil his dream of little Palestinian children playing side by side with little Israeli children. That man, ladies and gentlemen, is
Joseph Brown (or 'Seth', if you're an poorly briefed London Student journalist). Never mind that little wearing-Keffiahs-and-being-on-the-PalSoc-Committee business, Seph Stalin is The Chosen One.
Indeed, Seph's Israeli 'outreach' doesn't stop at arranging joint events, or "setting up the [Houghton] Street" single-handedly. Oh, no no no no no! He's also been spending an incredible amount of time with Israel Society, supping on the Zionists' wine and 'palling around' with the committee. So, just why is our famed Anti-Racism Officer spending so much of his social time with the NME? Could it be a genuine desire to spread his reconciliation, or is there another reason? Whatever the case, Seph 'Shit' Brown seems to get on with them better than his own
PalSoc committee...
Joseph Brown (or 'Seth', if you're an poorly briefed London Student journalist). Never mind that little wearing-Keffiahs-and-being-on-the-PalSoc-Committee business, Seph Stalin is The Chosen One.
Indeed, Seph's Israeli 'outreach' doesn't stop at arranging joint events, or "setting up the [Houghton] Street" single-handedly. Oh, no no no no no! He's also been spending an incredible amount of time with Israel Society, supping on the Zionists' wine and 'palling around' with the committee. So, just why is our famed Anti-Racism Officer spending so much of his social time with the NME? Could it be a genuine desire to spread his reconciliation, or is there another reason? Whatever the case, Seph 'Shit' Brown seems to get on with them better than his own
PalSoc committee...
Monday, 10 November 2008
Miss LS-Peeved
If you want to know how to wind-up Emmanuel "cum-into-my-office-I've-got-plenty-of-condoms" Anki-Panky, then ask the female bar-worker (who Hack Attack loves for the true person she really is, and not at all because of her exterior appearence) who worked at AfterSkool on Saturday.
Whilst she was chatting up one of his friends from da east-end massiv, they paused for a moment on the topic of the upcoming Miss LSE (Hack Attack does not endorse this disgusting, misogynistic event that sees beauty as only skin deep). The conversation unearthed that Anki-Panky has not been having much of what's in his name lately, and the bar person joked that perhaps Miss LSE was the perfect opportunity for Head-Welfare to get some. Maybe he's been being such a leaflet fascist (ripping them from the Tuns, Quad, behind the bars and posters to boot) that he doth profess to much at his disdain for the sexy, gorgeous parade?
When Crew Member 1 tells his bru of of this jest, Em rushes to the bar worker and unleashes a hell-like rage upon her, threatens to plague her eyelashes with hair-eating locusts and boasts that seeing as he is her boss she should watch what comes our of her filthy, heathen mouth, or else...
The poor lass won't leave the house now, and instead spends her days watching Sex in the City, painting her nails and applying an unhealthy amount of fake tan. Where's the Welfare in that?
Whilst she was chatting up one of his friends from da east-end massiv, they paused for a moment on the topic of the upcoming Miss LSE (Hack Attack does not endorse this disgusting, misogynistic event that sees beauty as only skin deep). The conversation unearthed that Anki-Panky has not been having much of what's in his name lately, and the bar person joked that perhaps Miss LSE was the perfect opportunity for Head-Welfare to get some. Maybe he's been being such a leaflet fascist (ripping them from the Tuns, Quad, behind the bars and posters to boot) that he doth profess to much at his disdain for the sexy, gorgeous parade?
When Crew Member 1 tells his bru of of this jest, Em rushes to the bar worker and unleashes a hell-like rage upon her, threatens to plague her eyelashes with hair-eating locusts and boasts that seeing as he is her boss she should watch what comes our of her filthy, heathen mouth, or else...
The poor lass won't leave the house now, and instead spends her days watching Sex in the City, painting her nails and applying an unhealthy amount of fake tan. Where's the Welfare in that?
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