Hallett for homos

Andy "H" Hallett, clearly unsatisfied with the female species, has turned his mind to Grecian matters during this Olypmic season.

Check out Andy's new Gaydar profile if you're interested. Apparently he likes art, good food and.. er... guys cuming on his face.

Best. PEB. Ever.

Party Election Broadcasts are always a highlight of the vote-grabbing season. Who can forget Kinnock: The Movie, Natural Law's yoga hopping or the Clinton 3AM call?

But now the "UKIP Plus" English Democrats, fronted by part time superhero Matt O'Connor, has taken the PEBiscuit with a classic broadcast for the mayoralty. Comedy cock-er-nees, heartwarming music and emotive imagery - it has it all! Highlight is 2:50 in... I won't spoilt it!



Extraordinarily, the party seems to think this is a sensible comparison....



And this a good, not-xenophobic-at-all idea for a billboard poster!



P.S. Normal LSE-centric coverage returns soon... unless any more of our hacks decide to stand for the London Assembly.

I think I fancy you...Boris!

This hack-a-gibber-mouth wonders how much the Johnson campaign had to do with this..?

Do some revision

.. but before you do, have a gander at this cringeworthy Green Party video featuring a certain Mr. Dildo-is-Fishy:



Note how it is filmed at Dalston Market - not really the usual market of choice for the Green Party voters of North London (unless they are doing a spot of poverty tourism, of course!). This Hack reckons Aled should pop down to Stoke Newington for some organic venison... he's looking a bit pale on this video. If Sian "doing it for the fit" Berry fancies a bit of meat, I'm sure the Feather Hustler would oblige...

The return of the Wall

Lost a Gen Sec race? Bored with revision? No whiskey nights to berate vacuous shits? Why not audition to be a Daily Mail columnist by voicing your reactionary opinions on a blog?

Click here to read Steve 'Lend us a fiver' Wall in all his unadulterated, no-holes-barred, cab driver glory. Feast on his opinions about immigrants, Muslim head dress, Labour, The Guardian, political correctness and 'diversity'!

A welcome addition to the blogosphere, I'm sure you'll agree...

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner?

Whilst obviously very busy running the LSE, Howie "Barrell legend" D took some time out to attend a rather exclusive dinner date last week. The occasion? The State Banquet at Windsor Castle in honour of Nicolas "I've had more gash than Nick Clegg" Sarkozy. Sitting next to him is Jack Straw, and he is just 2 places away from The Frog and 1 away from the Horse.

Howard Davies: more connected than a BT exchange.

Hat tip to The Baron Hallett.

Full video:

Spectrum anal-yzer

Credit to Imperial's Live! website.

Who's the sexiest candidate?

With a distinct lack of LSESU Hack News, oogling over the pond may provide Hack Attack viewers with the kind of high-brow, in-depth political hokey-pokery they may have been missing.

Whether you want Billery or Obamatron to win, the question you should really be asking yourself is:

Who is the sexiest?

Fortunately, some nutters on YouTube have already helped us out by pitching their favourite to us in music video form. The Obama one was even one of the nominees for the recent YouTube Awards in the Political category. Enjoy...

Boris

Do we really want a man who confuses rugby and football to be the next Mayor of London?



I guess rugby's all they play at Eton.

Pillock.

Another dick in the Wall

Despite being denied the General Secretaryship, everyone's favourite Irishman Steve 'Show us your tits' Wall has been named as the Chair of UCL Council (and also - seemingly - has been knighted).

Well done, Steve!

Bareback Mountain

It's the end of term, and James BeerCan has decided to let his hair down.

However, only one of the following pictures is fabricated. Can you guess which one?

5 Across (8 letters): Dabbling with something new.

Shout outs

Big hello to Andy 'Colin' Farrell, the Press Office and everyone else in the LSE bureaucracy who reads Hack Attack.

Love you lots!

xxx

Wet Beaver

Shock result for the Beaver editorship: Joseph "Useful Idiot" Cottager won the day over Aled's Green buddy Mike 'Charley Says' STDeas. Meeting was packed with Beaver hacks and Deas-friendly lefties and went on for what seemed like an eternity. Maybe a taste of Sunday nights to come for those lucky few who made it onto the Ed Board.

Rumour has it that Camp Dilwyn is disappointed with the result. De-ass is unlikely to disappear next year: seems like a special position near the top of the Beaver tree will be created especially for him. Awww... those Beaver people are really nice!

What does this outcome bode for Beaver-Sabb relations? We shall see.

Hare's Pished-off

Westminster Council may well close down our little Hare-man's soup kitchin - which aids the many students who have drunk their loan by week 3 - because another 'food retailer' has protested that the sweet, little veggies are eating their profits.

Hare Krishna is asking for help from all us students to try and continue their do-gooding. If you're interested, go get the phone number with your free curry tomorrow.

They can take him to courta dn they can whine, they could even burn down his cute orange trailer as a Mafia-style warning, but the only way this dispute is going to get settled is with a good old fashioned food fight.

Sadly, Darling Maria will finish off this hypothetical brawl when she rams a BLT & sausage ciabatta down our friend's gullet.

And this Hack-Hare used to like her. Bitch.

The high price of democracy

Candidate's budget: £50

Sabb paper allowance: £30

VoteSU08.com domain name: £5

Compensation to the LSE for damage to the count rooms: £13,000

Drawing of James Sausage's inadequate penis on the white boards: priceless.

STOP PRESS
Unconfirmed rumours suggest that next year's count night will be held in King's College's English Department.