The cute little 'Pulsettes' held an adolescent sweat-fest to choose new kiddies for their cause. Turns out that Mark 'sexual' Harrisment got the job, although Ladie Gaye was able to rally those voters that weren't friends with the new Fuhrer - or that he'd threatened with the firing squad - to make for an un-easily close race. Here's a run down of the other 'winners' of note:
James 'please-let-me-be-GenSec-next-year-or-I'll-shit-myself' BeerCan got admin. An informer told the Hack Attack that his speech rested on the fact that he 'loves emails, and stuff.' What a loser.
Sascha Fencing Fem-bot got Comms & PR.
Not-so-lairy Hiary shall be enlightening you all (far more than this hacker ever could) with news.
O, and some guy that looks like a girl is going to be their busy business bee...
All in all, an exciting day in their otherwise gloomy existence living in the Beaver's shadow. But there's talk that they'll soon be carrying the torch for the media group.
Maybe the Sanctuary entered the market at just the right time.
Monday, 18 February 2008
The final curtain
Sadly, there comes a time in every scribe's career when it feels right to put away the quill and move on to pastures new. Sometimes this decision is voluntary, sometimes it is forced. For this Gossip Queen, the time is now (or more precisely, the close of nominations at 5PM today), and the exile has been imposed by that most evil of School prefects, Jimmy BeerCan.
I hope you have all enjoyed the sexy gossip as much as I have, and I hope that I have been equally unfair to everyone. The reason Hack Attack exists is to deflate pomposity and, first and foremost, to amuse. Y'know, the stuff the Beaver used to do? This hack hopes it has succeeded.
To those who have taken offense at what was written about them, to those who requested this blog be shut down or altered, or use it for political campaigning, I say: chillax. Take a ride on the relaxi taxi. We're a Students' Union: enjoy the politiking, enjoy the grand gestures... but please don't take any of it seriously! In the words of the holy [shurely shome mishtake? - Ed.] Henry Kissinger :
"University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small"
However, Hack Attack will live on: not only in the hearts of the great and good of the Union, but also in actuality. I leave you in the capable hand(s) of Feather Hustler for the rest of the election period.
Respect yourselves, and each other. And in the words of the great poet Abz Hussein, "now go s**k c**k".
I hope you have all enjoyed the sexy gossip as much as I have, and I hope that I have been equally unfair to everyone. The reason Hack Attack exists is to deflate pomposity and, first and foremost, to amuse. Y'know, the stuff the Beaver used to do? This hack hopes it has succeeded.
To those who have taken offense at what was written about them, to those who requested this blog be shut down or altered, or use it for political campaigning, I say: chillax. Take a ride on the relaxi taxi. We're a Students' Union: enjoy the politiking, enjoy the grand gestures... but please don't take any of it seriously! In the words of the holy [shurely shome mishtake? - Ed.] Henry Kissinger :
"University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small"
However, Hack Attack will live on: not only in the hearts of the great and good of the Union, but also in actuality. I leave you in the capable hand(s) of Feather Hustler for the rest of the election period.
Respect yourselves, and each other. And in the words of the great poet Abz Hussein, "now go s**k c**k".
Four-grief Clover
Am i hearing double?!
Or has another Irish post-grad joined the ever-so-highly-regarded Stephen Wall in the GenSec race? Does anyone know if 'Mik-hiel' has the same grating personality traits as his fellow countryman?
Or has another Irish post-grad joined the ever-so-highly-regarded Stephen Wall in the GenSec race? Does anyone know if 'Mik-hiel' has the same grating personality traits as his fellow countryman?
Medjaa Whores
Pulse elections tonight. After having sent an email to every DJ every week, Mark 'Sexual' Harrisment is now a shoe-in for Station Manager.
Interesting races are James 'finger-in-every-pie-before-I-go-for-GenSec' BeerCan vs Charlie 'Comms 09' Samuda for Chief of Staff; Sacha FemBot vs Ayushman 'Standing for International' Sen for Comms and PR.
Also, over in the Beaver office Rice-n-Deas is facing off against Cottager. Expect a Granita-esque deal soon.
Almost as exciting as Hilary v Obama, innit?
Interesting races are James 'finger-in-every-pie-before-I-go-for-GenSec' BeerCan vs Charlie 'Comms 09' Samuda for Chief of Staff; Sacha FemBot vs Ayushman 'Standing for International' Sen for Comms and PR.
Also, over in the Beaver office Rice-n-Deas is facing off against Cottager. Expect a Granita-esque deal soon.
Almost as exciting as Hilary v Obama, innit?
Sabb races update
Looks like Emmanuel is facing a tough challenge from Ron, whilst AU Gaby has entered the fray in Comms.
SU on BBC1
Hilariously they went to the Three Tuns to discuss binge drinking with a professor. Also spotted were the infamous Jewish Society 'love hearts', and a Biz Soc poster. Just about sums up LSE, no?
Click here and go to 11 minutes in
Click here and go to 11 minutes in
Spotted...
Did a current Sabbatical Officer just hand in a mysterious white sheet of paper to SU reception? Or was it this hack's over-furtive imagination?
Quick message from RAG
Hi Guys!!
It's Ben Phillips here just letting you lot know about this week... it's Ben Phillips Week here at the LSESU! Check out all the wonderful events we have lined up for this most special of LSE weeks:
Ben Phillips Quiz - How much do you know about me? Hopefully, loads: I'm Ben Phillips!
Ben Phillipsathon - Six members of Pulse sleep with me for a week. Sheldon pulls out early.
Blind Ben Phillips Dating - Can you guess who is chatting you up? Yes it's me, Ben Phillips!
Sponsored Stage Vomit - How many times can you do a 'Ben Phillips' during the Pulse broadcast in the Quad?
Also available all week is exclusive 'London School of Ben Phillips' merchandise... grab it while its hot.
Keep it foolish,
Ben Phillips
P.S. This message was in no way related to my campaign for International Students Officer. Honest.
It's Ben Phillips here just letting you lot know about this week... it's Ben Phillips Week here at the LSESU! Check out all the wonderful events we have lined up for this most special of LSE weeks:
Ben Phillips Quiz - How much do you know about me? Hopefully, loads: I'm Ben Phillips!
Ben Phillipsathon - Six members of Pulse sleep with me for a week. Sheldon pulls out early.
Blind Ben Phillips Dating - Can you guess who is chatting you up? Yes it's me, Ben Phillips!
Sponsored Stage Vomit - How many times can you do a 'Ben Phillips' during the Pulse broadcast in the Quad?
Also available all week is exclusive 'London School of Ben Phillips' merchandise... grab it while its hot.
Keep it foolish,
Ben Phillips
P.S. This message was in no way related to my campaign for International Students Officer. Honest.
Inaccuracy
Some avid readers have pointed to several inaccuracies in this esteemed publication. Hack Attack would like to take the opportunity to correct the following mistakes:
1. The girl who spoke at the UGM was not Lizzie. It just looked like her.
2. Doug Oliver is not 'centre-right'. Infact, he is a eco-Marxist.
3. Certain election rumours we posted were, infact, wrong. Hope you didn't place too many bets.
4. Some weeks ago we gave the impression that Andy Hallett was a viable candidate for Gen Sec. Hack Attack apologies for this misrepresentation.
1. The girl who spoke at the UGM was not Lizzie. It just looked like her.
2. Doug Oliver is not 'centre-right'. Infact, he is a eco-Marxist.
3. Certain election rumours we posted were, infact, wrong. Hope you didn't place too many bets.
4. Some weeks ago we gave the impression that Andy Hallett was a viable candidate for Gen Sec. Hack Attack apologies for this misrepresentation.
I like big Butts
Far-Eid has been throwing his considerable ego around the election races this week. Often to be seen having 'a little chat' with various candidates, it looks like PakSoc have won the day within ISoc and got its candidates endorsed. Rumour is that Farid himself threated to stand against Aled in order for his prefered candidates to get ISoc backing.
Legitimate democratic process or shady backroom dealing? You decide!
Legitimate democratic process or shady backroom dealing? You decide!
Boo hoo
So the Israelis lost the latest Six Day War, only for Howard Davies (for it is he) to weigh in with a very poorly drafted (and unsigned) email to all undergrads. Expect a massive overreaction from PalSoc any time soon. Rumours abound of a storming of Howard Davies' bathroom.
Back like your spine
In the dying moments of this hack's freedom of speech, the Queen of Gossip plans to spread mirth and mischief amongst the residents of the East Building.
Monday, 11 February 2008
UGM highlight
Toss up between Faddy Barking-Madder's comment to Yid Al-Tittybum: "for someone who has no respect for ANY human being...", and Howie D's numerous references to Fadhil as "Ken's friend".
Special mention also goes to LGBT candidate Lizzie for asking an irrelevant question about Italian stereotyping/discrimination to Howard. Cue much laughter from the Director and audience... she clearly had not heard his national-stereotype-filled "The English" song last year!
Special mention also goes to LGBT candidate Lizzie for asking an irrelevant question about Italian stereotyping/discrimination to Howard. Cue much laughter from the Director and audience... she clearly had not heard his national-stereotype-filled "The English" song last year!
RAG time
RAG Week has started in earnest. Traditionally scheduled just before elections, expect a week of baby kissing and shameless vote gathering from the prospective candidates.
The Pulsettes are doing their 'RAGathon', a sponsored pissup/sleepover; Andy Hallett just about managed to order the RAG merchandise; and Fadhil is a dead cert to get gunked. Wonder if he will issue an apology for that, too?
The Pulsettes are doing their 'RAGathon', a sponsored pissup/sleepover; Andy Hallett just about managed to order the RAG merchandise; and Fadhil is a dead cert to get gunked. Wonder if he will issue an apology for that, too?
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